Page 83 of In the Air Tonight

Chapter 17

Houston

NOW

I pick up Blaise at Jack’s and head for Providence, so Spurling can take Blaise’s sworn statement. “How’s it working out at Jack’s place?”

“It’s great. I love it.”

“He’s a good dude. Did he tell you what he does?”

“He did. It’s very interesting.”

“He’s won a ton of awards and other accolades, not that he’d ever tell you that.”

“I saw his work last night. It’s impressive.

“It really is. He does a little bit of everything, from kids’ books to cartoons to sci-fi. He’s incredibly talented.”

“I can’t draw a straight line with a ruler.”

“Me, either.” I chuckle as I glance over at her. “Are you feeling okay about this meeting?”

“I want to get it over with.”

“I understand. It’s traumatizing to relive it, especially several times in the same week.”

She keeps her gaze directed out the window. “It’s not my trauma. It was hers. I just happened to witness it.”

“Based on how you’ve described your reaction to it, I think it’s safe to say you were traumatized, too. Anyone would be, Blaise.”

“It’s nice of you to cut me a break, but I don’t deserve that.”

“Yes, you do. You were still a kid.”

“My mother said the same thing when I told her why I’m here, and don’t worry. She won’t tell anyone. She said I needed to give myself a break, but I’ve never wanted a break. I just wanted it to go away. I wanted to go back to that night and not defy my parents’ wishes by driving to LE. I wanted not to see things that could never be unseen. I wanted this not to have happened to her. I wanted to go back to my life as it had been earlier that day. I wanted that for her, too.”

“I wish there’d been someone you could’ve talked to about it.”

“I was so afraid anyone I told would force me to go public. I saw what they’d done to Denise. I couldn’t let that happen to me, too. I was spineless and weak, and I hated myself for that.”

“Again, you were seventeen. Old enough to know what you’d seen was terrible, but not old enough to see a way through it.”

“It makes me uncomfortable for people like you and my mother to give me a pass.”

“We’re not giving you a pass. We’re saying things happen, overwhelming things that are so big and unfathomable it’s impossible to see a way out. That doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. You aren’t the one who committed the unspeakable crime.”

“What I did was unspeakable in its own way, especially after she came forward and people trashed her in defense of him. Other than having to leave her alone and hurt in the woods, that was the worst part. It’s the only time in my life I’ve contemplated suicide.”

“God, Blaise…”

“Please don’t feel sorry for me, Houston. I screwed up royally. All I care about now is fixing it.”

“I do feel sorry for you. What you saw and how it affected you make you a victim in this as well.”

She shakes her head. “Denise was the victim. The only victim.”

I don’t agree with her, but I can tell there’s no point in arguing with her about it. Hopefully as this process unfolds, she’ll see that Denise wasn’t the only victim of Ryder’s crime.

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