Page 82 of In the Air Tonight

“Why would he do something like that?”

“I’ve thought a lot about that. There’s never an excuse for sexual assault, but if there’s a reason he snapped it probably was tied up in his longtime girlfriend about to enter hospice care after a terrible battle with cancer. Who knows what that kind of stress does to someone, not that I’d ever in a million years try to justify what he did. It’s just hard to make the leap that someone you grew up with is truly evil, you know?”

“I get it, and I agree there’s no justification for what he did. I didn’t know he lost his girlfriend way back when.”

“It was very sad. Louisa was a wonderful person, and she fought so hard. Ryder was right by her side the whole way. He also raised a lot of money to help her family with medical bills. It was difficult for me to reconcile that Ryder with what I saw him do that night.”

“I’m sure it was.”

“Thank you for listening.”

“Thank you for sharing it with me. I know it can’t be easy to talk about.”

“It’s not. I’ve never talked about it with anyone before I told Houston, and now I’ve told the story to Houston twice as well as to you and my mom.”

“That’s a huge load to carry around for such a long time.”

“It’s been horrible. I was happy to hear this week that Denise, the woman he raped, is happily married with four kids. It’s good to know she found happiness.”

“You deserve that, too, you know.”

“Do I?”

“You do. I get why you feel awful about this, but you’re a good person.”

“How do you know that? I just told you I’m not a good person.”

“A bad person wouldn’t have cared so much for all this time. A bad person wouldn’t have eventually done the right thing, even knowing it could cost her a lot. You’re not a bad person, Blaise. You’re a good person who made a bad mistake at a time in her life when she didn’t have the wherewithal or maturity to do the right thing.”

“I’ve regretted that every day since.”

“Which is another thing a bad person wouldn’t have done.”

“A lot of people will hate me for this, including my own brother.”

“Probably. How do you feel about that?”

“I think it’ll be easier to live with that than it was to live with the secret.”

“I’m sure it will be.”

“Listen, this is a lot. If you want some time to think about whether you want to be friends—”

He shocks the shit out of me when he kisses the next words right off my lips. “I want to be friends, and I hope it was okay to tell you that way.”

I smile because how can I not? “It was okay.”

“Just okay? I can do much better than just okay.”

With my hand on his chest, I stop him from proving that right now. “Slow your roll, cowboy.”

“Fine, be that way, but just know I’m capable of way better than just okay.”

“Got it.” I’d really like to find out what he means by that, but not tonight. This is more than enough for right now.

“How about that pizza I promised you?”

I’m so relieved to have shared my story with him and not been tossed out on my ass. At least now I know for sure he’s interested in me as more than a friend, which is good news. Because I’m interested, too. “Let’s get to it.”

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