Page 39 of In the Air Tonight

This would be such a perfect day if my back didn’t hurt so badly. I wish I could take the ibuprofen that usually works for me, but I read that it’s better not to take any pain meds while pregnant. I can’t bring myself to do anything to hurt an innocent child, which is why I’ve more or less decided to carry the baby to term and put him or her up for adoption. I haven’t discussed that with Kane yet, but I will. Soon.

Kane rows for a long time, until we’re so far from where we started that our cabin is but a speck in the distance. The sun is warm, the air crisp and the lake placid and calm.

“It’s so beautiful here,” I say after a long period of contented silence.

That’s one of the things I love best about being with him. We’re so happy to be together that we don’t feel the need to constantly fill the empty spaces with conversation.

“I do, too. We’ll have to come back every summer, unless it would remind you of things you’d rather forget.”

“I’ve felt so much better since we ended up here. I’d love to come back.” I shift on the cushions, seeking a comfortable position as my back pain intensifies.

“What’s wrong?” Kane asks.

“Just this weird pain in my back that’s been getting worse all day.”

“Why didn’t you say something?”

“I thought it was just a pulled muscle or something, but it’s—”

The breath is stolen from my lungs by a sharp pain that radiates from back to front and a gush of fluid between my legs. I gasp as I lean forward.

Kane releases the oars and reaches out to me. “Neisy, you’re bleeding.”

“No! The baby!”

If I lose the baby, I’ll also lose the proof that Ryder raped me.

“I’ll get us back to shore.”

He rows like an Olympian, stopping only to pull his phone from his pocket. “Damn it, there’s no service out here.” He goes back to rowing.

The pain is ridiculous, unlike anything I’ve ever experienced, even the appendicitis I had when I was ten.

“Are you okay, Neise?”

“Uh…” I can’t seem to form a coherent thought.

The bottom of the boat is covered in blood.

When we get closer to the shore, Kane again tries his phone. “Thank God we have service now.”

The next hour is a blur as I’m loaded into an ambulance with Kane by my side and transported to the hospital. I want to remind him that we need the baby’s DNA to convict Ryder, but I can’t form words around the pain that’s ripping me apart inside.I black out at some point and come to in a brightly lit room with people all around me. Where’s Kane? I want to ask for him, but I can’t speak. I can’t do anything other than experience this searing pain.

When a needle is inserted into my hand, the pinch barely registers, but the relief is immediate.

My eyes become heavy. I can’t keep them open.

The next time I open them, I’m in a darkened room.

Kane is there, sitting next to my bed holding my hand.

I lick lips that are so dry they feel like sandpaper. “What happened?”

“You had a miscarriage.”

“Oh.”

“You lost a lot of blood. They had to give you a transfusion.”

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