Page 30 of Nothing Left to Lose

“Brody,” I whispered.

“I couldn’t lose you, Mills. And then I started to have feelings about losing you, and how much I missed being around you, and being able to touch you. And then I started to thinka lotabout touching you, and then it wasallI could think about. Then it wasn’t just touching...” He grimaced. “I’m sorry. That’s a terrible thing to say. But I kept having inappropriate thoughts about what I wanted to do to you, and it was a first for me, lemme tell ya. I was weirded out, not gonna lie. Because it was you, my best friend. I shouldn’t have been thinking of you like that. But it wouldn’t go away. And then it wasn’t weird anymore because it was hot.” He shrugged. “And then I had the chance to bring you here. A weekend away. Just you and me. Where I could maybe make sense of my head, and where it wouldn’t feel like you were leaving me.”

I put my hand to his face. “Iwasleaving you, Brody,” I admitted quietly. “I was trying to put some distance between us because I couldn’t take it anymore. I was heartsore, and I hated myself for loving a guy who could never love me the way I needed him to.”

“But I can,” he said, his eyes full of hope. “Idolove you, Miller. As my best friend, but more than just that. You’re my person and the person I want to be with. I don’t care that you’re a guy.”

I laughed. “Uh, thanks?”

“I know I’m probably not explaining it right.” He took a deep breath and pressed his forehead to mine. “I want to be with you, Miller. As your boyfriend, as your partner. Hell, I’ll drive through the Elvis Chapel with you right now if that’s what you want. I mean, we’ve been married all weekend and it’s been kinda fun.”

I snorted because he was joking. Surely.

He sighed, his eyes searching mine. “I love you, Miller. I want us to be together. I need you to believe me.”

“I want to believe you,” I whispered. “I’ve spent the last eleven years dreaming of this, so please understand why I have a hard time thinking this is real. Or that you could possibly know what it means to me.”

“I know what it means,” he whispered. “And I’ll happily spend every day of forever proving it to you.”

My heart was thumping so hard it hurt. So full, so happy.

Then he made a face, his cheeks pink. “Now, I know how to do a lot of things, but there are some things I’ll need you to teach me.” He winced. “Intimate things. I want to do them all,” he quickly added. “God, I want to do everything. What we’ve done so far has been... well, hotter than hell. I mean, it’s new and different, but holy fuck, Mills. I never knew it could be like this. And maybe it’s because I have feelings for you. Because I do love you. Maybe that’s why it’s so intense with you. It’s never been like this with anyone because I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you.”

So maybe he was more demisexual than bi, but that was something for a later conversation.

I put my hand on his cheek and kissed him softly, my heart hammering that I could actually kiss him. “It’s okay. I’ll teach you.”

He kissed me back, soft and warm. “Teach me how to love you,” he murmured. “In every way, so you never want for anything, Miller. I want to be everything for you.”

I closed my eyes. “You already are.” I slid my hand down his back and pulled our hips together and kissed him, deeper this time. I let his tongue invade my mouth, and we fell back onto the sofa, him on top of me, between my legs, my arms tight around him. It wasn’t hurried; it wasn’t the heated passion from earlier. This was a recognition of everything we’d just said.

He was showing me his sincerity.

He certainly wasn’t weirded out by being with a guy, and he was pressing against me in all the right places. I slowed the kiss to a stop. “So,” I said, looking into his eyes. “Those things you want me to teach you, the things you imagined doing to me...” I couldn’t help but smile. “Wanna tell me what they were?”

He chuckled, embarrassed, ducking his head into my neck. “Hm, I seem to remember you saying you loved your neck kissed.” So, of course he sucked and kissed my neck, sending shivers of pleasure through me.

I gripped his hair and pulled the strands, making him groan as his mouth found mine again. Things were starting to heat up when he pulled back, a pained expression on his face. “I didn’t bring any condoms.”

I scoffed. “Whoa. Moving pretty fast there. Is that what you dream about?”

His face burned red, but his eyes scanned mine. “Well, yeah. I want to do that. I keep thinking about what it would be like to sink into you and?—”

“Oh my god,” I blurted. But my dick twitched, and my balls drew down.

“Is that . . . is that not what you . . . ? Oh god, I’m sorry, I?—”

I laughed and pulled him in for a kiss. “It’s fine. Just unexpected. And fast. For what it’s worth, yes, I want that. I want that very much, but maybe we could work up to that?”

His grin was sheepish. “Oh, of course. Sure. Good idea.”

He began to pull back off me so I grabbed him, pulling him right back. “I never said we were done. We have all night. Unless you wanna head downstairs to the casino. We haven’t tried our luck at anything.”

He grunted, kissing me hard before he whispered, “I already won the jackpot, Mills. I have a lot to learn and a lot of time to make up. If you’re gonna teach me, I wanna start tonight.”

My laughter died in my throat when he rolled his hips.

I gave him two lessons that night. Frottage, which he clearly loved, and me sucking his glorious cock. Which he also loved.

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