Page 66 of Wine Whiskey & Lipstick

“After you’re done talking to Selah, then you and I need to have a heart-to-heart.”

Dillyn nodded as she walked out of the room.

Chapter 29

Ben finally got the fire in his fireplace to blaze as he waited for Dillyn. Out of nowhere, an image of Lana appeared. If Ben believed in the paranormal, he’d be convinced Lana’s ghost was standing right before him. But Ben knew it wasn’t real. He was only haunted by his guilt and how, even now, he couldn’t protect the people he loved. Still, he had to forgive Lana and himself. Ben couldn’t move forward holding on to the past.It’s time. Ben took a deep breath. “I hope you can forgive me because I have to forgive myself. Goodbye, Lana.”

When Dillyn walked through the door, she could see by the set of Ben’s shoulders the night had taken ten years off his life. Gently, she placed a hand on his shoulder. “Are you okay?”

Ben sighed. “Not really. How is Selah?”

“She’s been through a lot, but the worst didn’t happen. With time, I’m sure she will heal from this.”

He nodded. “Dillyn, we need to talk.”

She could have said, “We have. You know everything,” but instead, Dillyn sighed. “I know.”

“I don’t want any more secrets between us. If I expect for you to tell me the whole truth, then I need to tell you the whole truth.”

This was a pivotal moment. If she wanted a future with Ben, Dillyn would have to come completely clean. “Okay.”

Ben continued to stare into the flickering flames.

Not only could Dillyn see the pain in his eyes, but she could also feel it. It was palpable.

Ben rolled his head around his shoulders and released a loud sigh before he began to speak. “Her name was Lana Langston.”

Dillyn already knew most of the story. After her first ride with Ben and Whisper, she’d come home and done her research. However, if Ben needed to tell her, she would listen.

“Lana was as smart as she was beautiful. I met her at a sustainable agricultural conference. I was on the panel, and she was in the audience. This might sound corny, but she literally snatched the breath right out of my body. I knew that I had to make it my business to meet her.”

Dillyn listened intently.

“After the panel wrapped up, I made a beeline over to where she had been sitting. That was a challenge considering so many people wanted to ask me questions and me trying to get past the gaggle of reporters all wanting an interview, but I did it.” A small smile appeared on his face before it faded away.

Dillyn didn’t interrupt.

“We went for drinks. Lana was funny and shared my interest in sustainable agriculture. Something most folks don’t even know exists.”

Dillyn sure as hell didn’t know what it was. She’d only heard of it while doing her Google search of him.

Ben continued. “After just one conversation, I knew she was the one.” He paused for a moment, pressed to find the right words to continue.

Patiently, Dillyn waited.

“I fell hard and fast, not realizing we were as different as night and day. She was from Chicago, a city girl through and through, but I was determined to make a relationship work. I even convinced her to marry me after three months of dating.”

“Wow.” Dillyn didn’t know that part. “She must have loved you too.”

It was something Ben often wondered about. It was also the heaviest part of his guilt. Ben hadn’t really beeninlove with Lana. He loved her mind, her wit, and her humor, but he wasn’t in love with her. More so than anything, Ben felt obligated. He lowered his head and pressed his chin to his chest. “Lana packed up her life and moved here to be with me. I learned pretty damn quickly that she was a fish out of water. Lana hated everything about the farm and living in Tennessee. On more than one occasion, she told me that she couldn’t do forever on this ranch. Deep down, I knew it too. She was unhappy. I could see that light within her slowly start to dim. It wasn’t just her passion that started to fade. It was her mind. I didn’t understand depression and how it all worked back then, but I knew I had to figure something out. Not just for her but . . .” His voice trailed off. “She was pregnant.”

Dillyn’s heart ached. “Rylee?”

“Yes. Lana was barely six weeks.”

Dillyn understood all too well how devastating losing a child could be on a woman and a marriage.

“I remember like it was yesterday. It was so cold and gray that morning when Lana decided to move back to Chicago.”

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