Page 52 of Wine Whiskey & Lipstick

Ben understood how Dillyn probably had to disconnect mentally in order to get through sex. He had been naive in understanding her need for survival. While it was painful to hear and impossible to process, Ben was glad that Dillyn trusted him with her story. He lifted her head from the crook of his neck and cradled her face within his hands. “Thank you.”

Dillyn still looked like a scared little girl. In some ways, Ben guessed she was. He tried to give her a reassuring smile and placed a tender kiss on the side of her head. He could tell that she was emotionally spent. “I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted. Can we get in your bed?”

Dillyn tensed somewhat. It was only slight, but Ben felt it. “I promise all we’ll do is sleep. I’m just not ready to let you go.”

Slowly, Dillyn nodded. She would love to be held by him.

Ben stood with her in his arms and made the short walk from the sofa to the bed. He was so careful with Dillyn. He handled her as if she were the most precious thing on earth. Gently, Ben deposited her into the center of the bed. He kicked off his shoes but left on his clothes. He climbed into bed and pulled her body close but not touching. He wasn’t sure Dillyn was ready for that just yet.

Eventually, Dillyn relaxed fully. It didn’t take long before the comfort of being in Ben’s arms lured her into the most peaceful sleep she’d had in years.

Chapter 22

After midnight, Dillyn woke to a heavy arm draped around her middle. She craned her head around to find Ben sound asleep. Dillyn took this time to study him. He was calm and relaxed. Dillyn didn’t know when or how Ben moved them underneath the covers, but she didn’t miss the fact that their bodies weren’t touching. Dillyn was sure that Ben took extra care to ensure they didn’t.

Dillyn flipped over onto her side and gently caressed the side of his face. It wasn’t surprising that he’d considered her needs before his own. He wasn’t a taker. Ben was strong, steady, consistent, and hadn’t shown himself to be the type of man to run away. If anything, Ben ran toward the fire, not away from it. He was authentic, and Dillyn knew it. How she could trust him with her life and not her body was crazy.I want to know what it’s like to make love to this man.

It was time to take a leap of faith. She whispered his name into the dark. “Ben.”

It didn’t take much to wake him. Ben cracked open an eye. His voice was groggy from sleep. “You good?”

Dillyn’s heart was going crazy. “Can you show me?”

Ben could hear the tremble in her voice and knew what she was asking. “I meant what I said. We don’t have to rush. It’s enough to lie here next to you.”

Ben didn’t realize how loud silence could be until Dillyn finally responded.

She sat up on her elbow. “It’s not enough for me.”

“Dillyn—”

“I trust you, and I know you can show me how sex is supposed to feel.”

Ben sat up too. He could hear the earnestness in her voice. “Sex with you is impossible.”

Dillyn’s stomach dropped.Does he think I’m too damaged to sleep with?

Ben could tell by the look on her face that she didn’t understand what he meant. “It’s hard to have sex when you’re in love with someone. When we finally come together, I will show you the difference between making love and having sex. I want to replace those ghosts and make your body burn.”

Dillyn hung on to his every word. “I want that too.” A shy smile broadened on her face. “You’re in love with me?”

“I knew you were the one after our first kiss. I denied it, but I felt something the first night we had dinner underneath the stars.”

Dillyn felt the same energy that night too. She spoke softly. “Ineedyou.”

Ben reached out to Dillyn, gently pulling her close and lifting her face upward. He pressed his lips against hers. His kiss was full of want and need. Ben found the strength to pull back. “As much as I want you, we should take our time.” Ben wanted Dillyn, but he couldn’t think of himself. He had to put her first.

Dillyn got up on her knees and sandwiched Ben’s face between her hands. She wanted him to know that she was serious. “Please, make love to me.”

“Are you really sure?”

Dillyn was terrified, but she was sure of Ben. “I’ve never been more certain of anything.”

Ben hadn’t ever wanted a woman as much as he wanted Dillyn. He reached for her hand and placed it over his heart. It was beating fast. “This is all you. You make me feel this way. If we do this . . . you’ve got to promise that you’ll stop me at any point you start to feel uncomfortable.”

Dillyn nodded. “I promise.” This wasn’t the first time she’d had sex, but it felt like it. Dillyn didn’t want to disappoint Ben. She didn’t want to disappoint herself. But was it possible? Dillyn hoped so. Ben’s willingness to be patient allowed her to make the final decision.

Ben was determined to make tonight all about her. He planned to show her that she didn’t need to disconnect with him. He helped Dillyn remove her shirt and jeans. She was left wearing a silky-golden bra and panty set. The moon bathed her in its light. Dillyn had the smoothest, softest brown skin. “You’re beautiful.”

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