Page 7 of Ruined in Vows

My jaw tightens in anger. Through clenched teeth, I grate out, “Why the fuck is she talking to you about this? And how the hell do you know about our past sex life?”

“Because I caught you two at it many a time in your fucking office. And you won't listen to her when she tries to talk to you.” He runs a hand through his hair, inhaling a calming breath. “You were going to start a family. Why isn’t Caterina pregnant yet?” he eyes me accusingly.

I watch him blankly, tension radiating through my body. How can I tell Vincenzo that I have no desire to fuck his sister or have a child with her. Things may have been different before, with the old Luca. But the new Luca, the one who looks at these people as strangers no matter what they tell me, doesn't want those things. Right now, I feel like I'm living a life that is not mine. That since the moment I woke up, there is nothing recognizable about any of this. My life feels like a lie. I feel like a fraud. But how do I explain that to them?

Where do I even start with telling Vincenzo or Caterina how I feel? Surely, they will think I'm crazy and have me locked up in the nearest psych hospital. And I can't even blame them. Despite trying to immerse myself back in my world, nothing makes sense. I am constantly on edge. As if I am always two seconds away from tipping over into the abyss of insanity. Into oblivion, where the darkness can swallow me whole and I no longer have to deal with the constant turmoil and confusion that now resides inside of me.

My gaze drifts to the large window where I catch sight of my reflection. Tired. Weary. Confusion. It all stares back at me, clawing at my skin. Panic flares inside me, threatening to take over. I pull at my tie, loosening it, and before I have a full-blown anxiety attack, I rise out of my chair, inhaling and exhaling as I pace the room. No matter how many times I breathe in, it’s as if I can’t get enough air into my lungs, and I feel like the walls areclosing in on me. Fuck. I’m having an anxiety attack. Did I have these before or is it a new development since my accident?

Vincenzo calls my name, bringing me out of my panic, but I ignore him. Blood rushes in my ear, my body heating. I need to get out of here. Striding to the door, I pull it open, ready to step outside, but a hand gripping my shoulder has me pausing.

Glancing back with unfocused eyes, I find Vincenzo searching my face. Concern with a hint of annoyance mars his features as he barks my name. “Luca?”

His harsh voice snaps me out of my agitation. I shrug his hand off me, turning around to face him so he can feel the full force of my glower. “I’m going to the casino floor. This is my business as much as it is yours and it’s time I stepped in properly.”

He shoots me a glare, his face reddening with rage. With narrowed eyes he watches me closely, searching my face. For what, I’m not sure. Sighing, Vincenzo takes a step back.

“And Caterina?” he prompts.

“She shouldn't be talking to you about our private life,” I growl.

“Well, she did. Caterina is my sister, I love her and want the best for her. You will give her what she wants and put a baby inside her.”

I swallow down the bile rising in my throat at the thought of doing that. Of the thought of putting my cock anywhere near her pussy. For some reason, it feels so fucking wrong, and I don’t know why. Surely, I should want these things with my wife?

Shooting him a look that would make most men wither, I growl out, “That is not up to you Vincenzo. Stay out of my fucking business.”

And with that, I walk out of the room, over this bullshit.

Chapter 5

Allegra

“Ihave some business in Vegas to take care of next week. You will all be coming with me,” my brother Nico announces just as we are finishing up dinner.

“Vegas?” Ocean repeats her face lighting up. “I have never been to Vegas.”

“Is it really necessary to take us all with youmio figlio?” Mamma adds, a frown on her face.

Nico nods. “Yes. Though I have ample security on the estate, I won’t be able to rest easy with my family so far away from me. If anything happened and I couldn't get back to you...” he trails off, the implication clear. He clears his throat. “Anyway, I would prefer it if you came with me. It’s non-negotiable.”

Placing my cutlery on the table, I wipe my mouth with a napkin before forcing a smile and speaking. “I guess we could hit two birds with one stone and have my bachelorette party while we are there?” My throat is tight as the foreign word leaves my mouth. I hate it. Anything even remotely related to marriage, I once only associated with Dante. Now I am asking my brother’s permission to grant me...what is traditionally a right of passage for any engaged woman, before I marry another man. Bile fills my throat, heartbreak choking me, but I swallow it down.

“Oh my God. Yes.” Ocean claps, her smile dropping as if she just remembered something. “Although, we may have a small issue with that. We are both under the age of twenty-one and I'm pregnant.” She swings accusing eyes to her husband.

Nico smirks at her, taking her hand and pressing kisses to her knuckles.

“That will not be a problem. My business associates will be happy to accommodate us at one of their many clubs. There will just be no drinking for you myTesoro,but you can still have fun.”

“What do you mean byus?” I ask.

“Well, of course I will be there. You didn't think I would let my wife out alone, for men to stare at and possibly try to touch, did you?” He shakes his head in disbelief as if I am the problem.

I chuckle. “You’re crazy, brother.”

He grins sardonically, murmuring, “Crazy in love.”

Ocean swoons, literally, before pulling her hand away. “Who will look after Romeo when we are at this club?”

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