Page 26 of The Spider & the Storm

Luke glanced at me through the corner of his eye, a little skeptical. I figured it was hard for him to believe that I’d understand, and I guessed I couldn’t blame him. It wasn’t like I really had any friends of my own, outside of him and Melanie—if I could really consider my older brother and his girlfriendfriends at all, organic ones at least. So, why should he have assumed I’d understand the difficulty in ditching a friend you’d had since you’d both been in diapers?

But the thing Luke didn’t get was, Ididunderstand it.

After all, it was exactly why I couldn’t imagine a life without him in it.

It was hard to let go of someone you’d built so much of your life around.

“Anyway”—he wiped at the drying blood beneath his nose—“you don’t have to worry about anything, okay?”

I scoffed, already beginning to choke on another wave of emotion. “Ihaveto worry.”

“Well, don’t.”

“Yeah, okay. Let me just turn it off.”

Luke sighed, pushing his hands into his disheveled hair. “I’m just saying, I’ll take care of shit, okay?”

Then, I asked the question I had been reluctant to ask. “But what if we can’t stay together?”

Luke turned in his seat, and his bruised and blackened eyes came to mine with an urgency he hadn’t shown before.

“That’s not going to happen. That won’teverhappen.”

“But upstairs, they said—”

“Charlie, listen to me. I won’t let it happen. Everything is going to be fine.You’regoing to befine.”

I wiped my hands against my cheeks and nodded, not sure that I believed him, but not wanting him to know that.

Then, I remembered one of the last things Mom had said to me, and knowing she was never coming home felt like a living nightmare. I turned to my brother, my heart full of pain and an overwhelming feeling of helplessness, and asked, “Luke … w-will you teach me how to shave?”

And I didn’t know why that was funny, but Luke laughed despite the tears building in his eyes. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pressed his forehead to mine, then said, “Yeah, Charlie.” His voice broke, and then he sighed. “I’ll teach you how to shave.”

CHAPTER SEVEN

MASSACHUSETTS, PRESENT DAY

I glanced at my bearded face in the motorcycle’s side mirror at the stoplight. The wind blew against my back, whipping my hair forward against my cheeks. Thank God for the helmet, holding it down and keeping it out of my eyes.

“If you don’t cut that shit soon, I’m gonna start calling you Jesus.”

My chuckle rumbled up from my chest at the brief memory of Luke, but just as quickly as it’d come, it was replaced by an ache so deep that I knew nothing would touch it.

It had been two weeks since I’d had my breakdown on the mower, two weeks since I had cried. But grief had a funny way of being evergreen, no matter how much time had passed, and it was as fresh as it’d ever been now.

The light changed colors again, and I was on my way. I didn’t know where I was going today, but I had woken up with that same longing to do something other than sit around the cemetery. So, I’d gotten onto Luke’s bike that morning, opened the gates, and left. Hoping to come across something to scratch this persistent, new itch. I knew it was loneliness. I was familiar with the feeling. But I wasn’t sure what to do with it when all I’d truly wanted since leaving Connecticut was to be alone.

Is that really what I want though?

I never used to like being alone.

The challenge was obnoxious, and I rolled my eyes at my stupid brain as I turned the corner and spotted a tea shop thatlooked whimsical and intriguing. Of course I wanted to be alone. That was why I’d come up here in the first place. Why the hell would that have suddenly changed a handful of years later? Other than the fact that I’d been more or less alone for that long.Years.

I parked the bike and pulled the key from the ignition, then headed across the street to walk through the door of Jolie Tea Company. Instantly, my senses were hit with the fragrant aromas of Earl Grey and lavender, and although I was more of a black coffee sort of guy, I’d never been known to say no to a nice cup of tea.

The shop was quiet and nearly empty. I wondered if that was normal for almost noon on a Wednesday as I pulled off the helmet and awkwardly approached the counter, where a woman was waiting with a beaming smile on her face.

“Hi!” she greeted me merrily. “What can I get you?”

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