Page 176 of The Spider & the Storm

God, no.No! This wasn't a goodbye. This wasn't anything but an extendedsee you next time. I couldn't say when I'd be back, I couldn't say when I'd feel ready to come back or talk to him, but Iwould. Luke had to know that. Hehadto.

He stood first. “Come on, man. You're not leaving without giving me a hug.”

I blew out a trembling breath before slowly rising to my feet. I stood to the side of our usual booth against the wall and was struck with the realization that I didn't know when I'd sit here again. Luke lifted his eyes to stare into mine, making up for those three inches I had on him, and he laughed.

“I remember when you were just a scrawny little shit,” he said, poking me in the chest. “Tommy Wheeler picked the wrong guy to fuck with.”

I rolled my eyes toward the window, shaking my head while imagining Tommy's blood still staining the matted hallway carpet. “Shut up, Luke.”

“Come here.” He wrapped his arms around me, and I let him. One of his hands cupped the back of my head while his other gripped my sweatshirt, and with a heaving sigh, I lowered my forehead to his shoulder and clung to him with every last ounce of strength I had left in me. “You're gonna be okay,Charlie. You will. I know you don't think so now, but I swear, you'll be okay.”

“You don't know that.”

“Yes, I do. If I can be okay in this fucking place, you can be okay in the city of your dreams.”

I didn't care that I was crying. Didn't care that Luke wasn't. I held on to him, digging my fingers into his back and repeating over and over and over to myself that this wasn't the last time I'd see him, this couldn't be the last time I'd see him; I wouldn't let this be the last time I'd see him. But the lack of confidence and certainty in every one of those insistent thoughts dragged me further and further into the depths of sorrow until I could barely breathe.

“Come on,” he said with finality. He clapped my back and unraveled his arms, still gripping the back of my head as he took a step back. Then, he pressed my forehead to his. “Listen to me. I have zero regrets. None. I would do every single fucking thing again, Charlie—”

“If you're trying to comfort me, it's not working,” I murmured, my eyes still watering and my hands still gripping his white T-shirt.

“I'd do itallagain, Charlie, if it meant you finally,finallyfinding the strength to get out on your own,” he said, ignoring me. “That's all I ever tried to do. To protect you and to make you strong, and I guess, in my own fucked-up way, that's what I did.”

The alarm rang again. Visiting time was over. Always a rule follower, I reluctantly dropped my hands from Luke's shirt to hang, trembling at my sides. Luke held on a second longer, then took a step back toward the door.

“Take the bike,” he said, pointing at me and taking another step. “I want you to keep it.”

I had no use for a motorcycle, but still, I nodded.

“And take Mom's clock. You always liked that ugly piece of shit.”

“Okay.”

Another step. “And if you ever find the balls to do it, go to Salem Skin and get some ink from that dude for me. The one on Instagram.”

I scoffed and rolled my eyes.

He took another step backward, disappearing a bit into the crowd of visitors and inmates. My heart lurched forward, begging me to say fuck the rules and hug him again, but I didn't. I stayed put, my fingers twitching and my lungs heaving.

“Find some creepy-ass woman who'll protect you from that little black rain cloud over your head,” he said, a teasing gleam in his eye. “And let her, okay? Don't be a fuckin' pussy about it. If you have to, just think,What would Luke do?”

He took another step, and my chest cracked open.

You'll see him again,I reminded myself, but, Christ, why didn't I believe it? It was him—I knew it. It was his insistence that I wouldn't. But he was wrong, dammit. He waswrong, and still, it killed me to watch him leave.

Imagine how he feels.

Luke lifted his hand in a wave before turning toward the door, his back to me. He took that hand and wiped his eyes.

I shook my head, cursing under my breath before saying, “Fuck the rules,” and called his name as I closed the gap between us.

He turned, his eyes glistening with tears and curiosity. “You're not changing your mind—”

“Thank you,” I said, pulling him into another hug.

The guard at the door took a step toward us and said, “Guys, time to break it up.”

“What the hell are you thanking me for?” Luke asked.

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