Page 177 of The Spider & the Storm

“Everything, just … everything,” I replied hurriedly, swallowing the sorrow and stepping back. “I'll come back, okay? I promise. I'll come back. When my head is on straight, when I can think clearly, when I can dothiswithout losing my shit, when—”

“Corbin,” the guard warned, but Luke ignored him.

“Sure,” he said to me, nodding and reaching out to grip my shoulder. “I love you, Charlie.”

I looked into his eyes, desperate to memorize every glint, every twinkle, every crease. “I love you too.”

He nodded, satisfied, and turned to acknowledge the guard wearing the silver-framed glasses. He lifted his chin in a nod and said, “Sorry, Harry.”

I watched as he passed through the door and turned down a hallway I'd never see. He walked by a window looking into the visitor center, where I still stood, and caught my eye. Then, he winked and disappeared, leaving me there with my empty promise and broken heart.

CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

CONNECTICUT, PRESENT DAY

“I will see you again.”

“No, you won't, Charlie.”

My head was held in my hands as I replayed those words on repeat, words I'd kept at bay for all these years.

Stormy held her arm around my shoulders, one hand clasped to my knee, while Ray brewed coffee and tea in the kitchen.

Noah had been ordered to take Miles out of the house, to find something to do with him around town and give the rest of us the quiet and space to handle things … as if there was something any of us could do about any of it. Still, I appreciated Ray's urgent order to her oldest son, and I appreciated Noah's lack of protest in spending the day with his much younger brother. Because it had been done out of respect for me, and that was something I could never take for granted.

And then there was Soldier. Sitting across from me on the coffee table, his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped against his forehead. Telling me what he knew of my brother's last moments on earth instead of visiting his uncle in prison.

I didn't want to know what had happened while wanting to memorize every word until I felt like I'd been there myself.

“This is just what Levi told me,” he reminded me for the second time, making sure I understood this wasn't his firsthand account. “But they had brought in this new kid. Young guy, noteven twenty yet. He was there on a few robbery charges after he failed to appear in court—or at least that's what Levi told me.

“Anyway, apparently, this kid has a freakin' mouth on him. Like he doesn't know when to shut up, can't take a hint … that kind of thing. Levi said he'd already gotten thrown into solitary a few times for mouthing off too much to the officers. But …” Soldier pulled in a deep breath. “Levi said that, overall, he's an okay guy. Just young and stupid, you know, and Zero … Luke … he liked him. They became buddies.”

I couldn't help but laugh as I dropped my hands from my head and let them rest on my thighs. I leaned back against the couch, keeping my eyes on the ceiling. “Yeah, he would. Probably saw himself in the kid,” I muttered more to myself than anyone, thinking about my brother as a teenager and the shit he'd say.

Soldier nodded before releasing a heavy sigh into the room. “Well, one day, this kid said some shit to the wrong guy. Big, mean fuckin' dude named Spike. I didn't know him well, but that's why. You didn't wanna get mixed up with him, and this idiot kid went and spewed some bullshit at him in the cafeteria. Levi didn't hear what it was or anything, and honestly, I guess it doesn't really matter. This fucker pulled a shiv on the kid, went straight for the jugular, but Luke got in the way.”

I lifted my head abruptly to pin my eyes on Soldier and the somber expression on his face. “He waskilled?”

“God, Charlie, I'm so sorry,” Stormy whispered from beside me, resting her cheek against my shoulder and squeezing my knee.

As he pulled in a deep breath, Soldier closed his eyes and nodded. “Levi said Zero was always defending this little shit. Thekid has a mouth on him, yeah, but from what Levi told me, it's like he’s overcompensating, you know? He's picked on a lot by the other guys. They tease him about everything, and … I dunno … Luke took him under his wing or whatever and made it his mission to protect him.”

A pained groan ripped through my throat as I dragged my palm over my face, turning my gaze toward the window and the bright sun streaming through it.

He had lost me and found some other pathetic loser to fill the void. Someone else to defend and protect.

The kid might've reminded him of himself to a point, but at the heart of it, the kid had reminded him ofme. But this time, he'd been the one to lose his life.

“You fucking idiot,” I sent off to the universe, hoping it'd reach his ears.

“Levi said that big, nasty fucker actually apologized to Luke while he was lying there,” Soldier added in a gruff tone, and I closed my eyes, trying to imagine my brother on the floor of some cold, dirty cafeteria, a pool of blood spreading beneath him.

“Was he alone?” I asked.

“No,” Soldier replied. “That kid—Jimmy's his name—and Levi were there when he died.”

I tried to be grateful. I tried to cling to that tiny shred of comfort, knowing that Luke hadn't taken his last breaths alone, but what the hell did it matter if I hadn't been there? God, what if he'd been scared? What if he had been thinking about me? What if, instead of holding the hand of some fucking prison buddy, hehad wished I'd been there instead? What if, at the very end of it all, he'd cursed me for not keeping my goddamn promise?

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