Page 21 of Stealing the Troll’s Heart

“You can stay,” I say, gesturing to the room around us. “Stay with me.”

The dark look in his eyes turns even darker. “I’m not staying.”

“And I’m not going.”

For a second, I see hurt flash across his face. He really expected something else out of this, that’s obvious to me now. But that was foolish of him, and it’s not my fault.

His hand clenches into a fist, and I wonder if perhaps he’s going to attack me and try to drag me along with him anyway. He takes a threatening step towards me, and my hand drops to where my dagger would usually be at my waist—but I’m buck-ass naked. I retreat to the table beside the bed where it sits in its sheathe and reach for it.

Raz’jin’s eyes widen as I take the dagger in my hand. I make it clear that if he’s going to get violent, I’m going to get violent right back. I’ve defended myself against this troll once before and I can do it again.

It’s like the dagger in my hand is the last straw. His face twists into rage, showing me a fury beyond anything I’ve seen before. He lunges for the dagger in my hand and wraps hisfist around it, so the blade bites into his palm. I yelp, trying to pull the dagger free of his grip, but all I do is dig it deeper into his flesh. Some blood dribbles out and down his wrist. But it’s as if he doesn’t even feel it, the way that he uses the dagger in my hand to draw me towards him.

Then Raz’jin says something that I think means, “You’re making a mistake.” I yank the dagger free of his grip and he yowls, sending more blood splattering. As I back away, holding the dagger out with the point facing his chest, the yowl morphs into a roar. It’s a sound I’ve only heard when ending a trollkin’s life. He walks towards me until the point of my dagger is pressing into his chest.

“I’ll do it,” I say.

“I know.” His gaze is conflicted for a moment, and for that moment, I can see that he’s deeply wounded. But then the anger rushes back, and Raz’jin turns his head to one side to spit on the floor. He starts speaking words I don’t know, so fast I can’t even try to understand them. I catchbitch, andfuck. He turns away from me and storms over to the door, knocking over every single thing in his path. A table falls down, the one where we sat working on my Trollkin while he drew pictures for me, and he snaps it in half just by stomping on it.

“Stop it!” I yell at him. I’m going to have to pay for all this. “What the fuck?”

He turns around and bares all of his teeth at me. I’m so surprised by it that I freeze. He smashes his hand through the window, then turns on his heel and walks from the room.

What did I do to deserve all of this? He could have stayed here with me. It’s not so bad, really, with a warm fire always burning in the belly of the inn. We could have had many more cold nights together, bundled up under furs and blankets, finding all sorts of activities to keep our blood running hot.

I stomp after him. “Raz’jin!” He pauses on the top step butdoesn’t look up at me. I approach him and lower the dagger to show I’m not going to stab him through the back. I just want to touch him, to try to make him understand. But the moment my hand brushes his skin, he jerks away like he’s been burned. Trying to push me off, he sweeps one arm so wide and with so much force that it flings me backwards against the wall.

“Asshole!” I did learn that one. He takes off down the stairs, and when I’m recovered from my collision, I race after him down. “You piece of shit.”

“Fuck you.” He’s using that other version of the word “fuck,” not the sexy kind, but the one that means, “I hope you get bitten by a snake while you’re sleeping and die alone screaming.” He turns to face me and jabs a finger in my face. “Liar. Traitor.”

What? What did I ever lie to him about? He’s taking this way too hard. I never promised him anything, and I certainly never lied about what I wanted out of this.

Every single pair of eyes in the inn is watching us have an incredibly ugly breakup.

“Fine,” I say. “Get out.” I walk up to the door and point the way outside, then switch back to Freysian, because I don’t know how to say what I want to say. “Get on that fucking ship of yours and never, ever come back.”

Raz’jin doesn’t have to speak the same language to understand what I’m saying. He stomps over to the door and flings it open. I brush his hip with my hand one more time, and he pauses on the threshold as if he’s about to change his mind.

But then, he doesn’t, and Raz’jin storms out of my life for good.

Raz’jin

How could she have done this to me?

Telise led me to believe it was real—that what I felt for her was reciprocated. Maybe we didn’t say it in so many words, but it had seemed so obvious to me. The way we kissed, how our bodies melded together like honey and bread, the happiness we both felt over the last month or more... I thought we had an understanding about what this was. We were mates, bonded together forever. Wherever I went, she would go, too.

It was the fear in her eyes when she reached for her dagger that sent me over the edge and into the abyss of rage. Not only did she not feel the same way about me, but she truly believed I might hurt her.

And didn’t I? Ugh, I just meant to push her away, but she’s so small that I sent her into a wall. Humiliating, really, to not know your own strength. Now all of that fear she felt is justified. That, perhaps, enrages me more than anything else.

I didn’t mean to do it.

When I reach the dock, I’m so angry that I’m gasping for air. I want to tear my hair out, throw my axe through the wooden pier, scream and yell until I’m hoarse and mute.

“Are you, um, wanting to board?” asks an orc standing at the top of the ramp. He looks concerned at the state of me.

I glare at him, but then nod my head. “Yes.”

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