Page 66 of Calling Frank O'Hare

Without a word, she unzipped his flies and straddled him, her bare breasts rubbing against him. The silence was erotic. Normally their sex was louder and faster, but this was something else. Contained passion, made all the more exciting because their sex life had been rocky lately. Rocky in that they generally only did it after an argument, although their arguments were frequent. It seemed to him that maybe they’d lost the ability to enjoy normal sex. There always had to be some sort of friction to instigate it. It wasn’t his thing at all, but Ellen seemed to thrive on it. In fact, he’d go so far as to say she needed it.

When they’d finished she climbed off him and picked up her robe. ‘I’d better take a shower before we go.’

The taxi stopped up the road from Billy and Eve’s new house. They both had cars now but they’d be drinking all afternoon. They could have taken the bus or underground but that was another thing Ellen had become increasingly snobbish about.

‘What a dump,’ she said, as they stepped out onto the pavement.

‘Will you catch yourself on. The area’s fine. You know you’re reverting to type? You’ll be telling me how much you hate the Irish next.’

Straight away, she looked wounded. ‘That’s so cruel.’

‘Oh I’m cruel?’

‘Yes you are. And pathetic too. Grovelling around Billy like some snivelling cretin. Creeping around Eve, hoping for a few crumbs from your old sweetheart. Pathetic.’

Frank drew a breath. He hadn’t told Ellen that he and Eve had once been together. He’d made a point of not telling her. But there’d been plenty of opportunities to find out, he supposed. Visitors from home might have mentioned it. Billy or Eve might even have mentioned it. Although they never did that when he was around. ‘You’re talking shite, as usual, my darling. If you don’t want to come, just say so. We’ll find you another taxi and get you home.’

‘You’d like that, wouldn’t you? That way you can spend all afternoon hanging on her every word. I know you prefer her to me. Is it the Irish thing? Is it the money? If I gave it all away, would that make you happy?’

Where the hell had all this come from? They’d just had the most amazing sex, for God’s sake. ‘What’s gotten into you, Ellen? Why are you behaving like this?’

Tears welled up in her eyes. ‘Because you’ve stopped loving me. And I’m frightened, Frank.’

Frank pulled her closer. Ellen would always be an enigma to him, it was part of her charm, but there was one thing he’d come to understand about her. Most of the time she was supremely confident, and the idea of him preferring someone else wouldn’t have even entered her head. But every now and then, deep insecurities appeared from nowhere and took her hostage. He brushed a stray tear from her cheek. ‘That’s crazy. You drive me mad sometimes but of course I still love you.’

‘Prove it. I don’t want to go in there. If you really love me, you’ll take me home now.’

‘But they’re expecting us, and Martin and Finn have come over.’

She drew back, her eyes searching him. But before either of them could speak, Billy appeared in the garden of a house a few doors along. ‘About time.’

Ellen wiped the tears away and put on a smile. ‘Sorry. My fault. Long story. Too boring to repeat.’ She took Frank’s hand and they followed Billy through the house and out to the back garden where everyone was waiting.

Eve took one look at Ellen and turned to Frank, her face full of questions. Frank shook his head and averted his eyes. There was no chance he was going to repeat that last conversation to anyone, especially Eve and Billy.

‘Here they are. My gorgeous sister-in-law and the other fella,’ said Martin. He’d just got divorced after a disastrous marriage that only lasted two years and he was way too happy for Frank’s liking. Ma wasn’t too pleased about it either. Especially as he’d managed to produce a child in that short time. A blameless baby had been left high and dry, as she’d put it when she bent Frank’s ear for nearly an hour over the phone yesterday. He’d only been saved by the six o’clock news coming on the telly.

Ellen threw her arms around Martin and hugged him in a way she never did with her own brother. Finn got the same treatment. She pecked Eve on the cheek. ‘I love your new place.’

‘Want a tour?’ said Eve.

‘Yes please. Lead on,’ said Ellen. She pulled Frank along with her. He noticed she wouldn’t look him in the eye.

The spare bedroom was full of electronic gadgets in varying states of disrepair. Frank recognised a couple of old synthesisers. The only things that didn’t look like they were past it were two electric guitars leaning up against the wall. ‘Who plays them?’ he said.

‘Billy,’ said Eve. ‘Well, he can play a few chords. That’s as far he got before he lost interest. You know what he’s like. This is all his shit. It’s not staying though. This is going to be a kid’s bedroom.’

Ellen’s jaw dropped. ‘Are you pregnant?’

‘No. Not yet, anyways. But we’re thinking about it. Aren’t you?’

‘Absolutely not. I couldn’t think of anything worse.’

It was the first Frank had heard of it. He’d always assumed they’d get round to it eventually. Although he’d never actually asked.

‘You never said you didn’t want kids.’ He’d waited until they got home to mention it. He didn’t want to bring it up in front of the others and also, he wasn’t sure how she was going to react after her earlier outburst.

‘Well I’m telling you now. I can’t get fat. I just can’t.’

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