Page 62 of The Christmas You Crash

Lexi blows out a breath. “I don’t want you to cancel because of me. I... I’ll go. Just, please, can we keep who I am a secret, unless it’s unavoidable?”

I kiss her on the forehead. My lips twitch with a huge grin the whole time, making the kiss kind of a strange one. “You sure?”

“Yeah,” she says with a little sigh. But there’s a smile on her lips too. Not as broad as mine, but it’s there. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

No doubt, I’m grinning like a total fool, because she starts to laugh. I don’t care. I feel like I just won my first, and veryimportant, victory with this woman. Gripping her tightly, I lift her feet off the ground and spin her around in circles. She throws her head back, closes her eyes, and laughs. “We’re going to have so much fun. Do you want to come stay at my place until New Year’s Eve?” I don’t want this time with her to end.

She cocks her head to the side. “I should probably go home. I didn’t pack anything I’d feel comfortable wearing to a party.” Her fingers tap a staccato rhythm on my chest. “Do you live alone?”

“No.” I sure as hell wish I did, now. “I live with another guy on the team. He’s on the third line, so he’s got his own place but rents out a room, so he doesn’t blow all his money. Aaron’s a good guy. You’ll like him. Especially since he’s hardly home.” Lexi laughs when I waggle my eyebrows at her suggestively. “I never asked if you have a roommate.”

She nods. “Yeah. We’re not close or anything. She posted a room for rent on one of the college boards, and it’s close to school, so it works out well. We don’t really hang out at all, but she’s nice enough.”

It’s far too soon to be thinking about any of this, but my mind instantly conjures images of Lexi and me getting our own place. Of waking up next to her every morning the way I have the last few. I try to imagine how she’d decorate a house. All of it is a fantasy I shouldn’t indulge, but this past week has given me a taste of what life could be like living with Lexi Cross, and I want more.

That desire doesn’t abate while we orbit each other in the kitchen, working together to make the best damned chili I’ve ever tasted. It doesn’t fade when she welcomes me into her body and falls apart beneath me. And it only grows when she snuggles, naked, into my side with her head on my shoulder and falls asleep within minutes.

And when I wake up with our limbs tangled and her lips pressed against my neck, warm puffs of air tickling my skin, I wish we could skip right past all the adjustments the real world will no doubt require and wake up every morning like this.

But there’s no fast-forward button in real life. And in a couple of hours, we’ll leave this cabin and go back to our own beds, where we’ll spend the night alone. I can only hope she hates that idea as much as I do.

thirty

LEXI

I’ve changedmy dress three times.

Why am I so nervous? Maybe it’s because it’s my first time seeing Ryder since we left the cabin. Though we’ve only spent one night apart, after being snowed in with him for a week, that night felt long and lonely. It was startling to realize how much I’ve grown used to his presence beside me in bed. How quickly his body heat helped me fall asleep. Alone for the first time in days, I’d tossed and turned last night until my mind finally shut down around two in the morning.

I’ve been a tangle of knots since waking. I can’t wait to see him. To kiss his handsome face and lose myself in one of his all-encompassing hugs. When I really stop to think about how much I’m looking forward to being with him, it’s kind of terrifying. The way I crave Ryder Hanson tells me I’ll be in big trouble if he decides he doesn’t want this. I try to rein myself in and temper my hopes and expectations for the night, but it’s like my body has been taken over by my former teenage self. The girl who was endlessly hopeful. The girl who hadn’t been used and tossed aside yet.

“You’re so screwed if he turns out to be a secret asshole,” I tell my reflection. But she’s all bright-eyed and oblivious.

As I swipe on another coat of mascara, my body recalls how it felt to be in Ryder’s arms. Tingles wash over me. My belly does an anticipatory flip. As nervous as I am to spend the evening surrounded by men who play for my dad, I’m also excited. I’ve been so focused on my MBA, I haven’t made much of an effort to meet people since I moved back home after finishing my undergrad in Chicago. And while I don’t expect to find my new bestie at this dinner—not that anyone could replace Rachel—there’s a part of me that swells with the hope that I’ll be able to carve out a little place for myself in Ryder’s life and with his friends.

I want them to like me. I want to fit in. Not because I’m Coach Cross’s daughter and they feel obligated to make nice. And not even because I’m Ryder’s...not girlfriend. Not yet. Ryder’s date? The person Ryder is dating? I want them to likeme.

It’s because of that desire that I’ve changed so many times. I don’t want to dress too formally, but I don’t want to be too casual, either. I want to look sexy for Ryder, but I don’t want to show so much skin that I end up feeling uncomfortable. And this is the first time Ryder’s going to see me in something nicer than leggings and oversized sweaters. I want him to think I’m beautiful.

Running my hands down the sides of my dusky-rose-colored dress, I finally settle. The material is slinky and hugs my curves. It’s long-sleeved, so I won’t be cold, but it dips down into a deep scoop neckline, showing off just the right amount of cleavage. The bodice is fitted, then it flares out below the waist, the length hitting mid-thigh. Embroidered flowers climb up one side of the dress from the hem of the skirt up to my rib cage, where they endjust beneath my breast. A few of the embroidered leaves tickle the underside of one boob.

My hair is mostly down and curled, except for sections at my temples that I’ve braided and pinned at the back. A few artfully placed pieces of hair escape the confines of the braids and frame my face. I’ve kept my makeup light. Dewy foundation, a sweep of rosy blush, some winged liner, dark eyelashes, and glossy lip stain complete the romantic look.

My phone buzzes with an incoming text. I grin when I see who it’s from.

Ryder

Be there in ten. Is it too much to say that I’ve missed you? I know I just saw you yesterday morning.

Warmth fills my chest. Some women may like broody, aloof men, but me? I crave Ryder’s sweetness and honesty. I love that I know where I stand with him. That he doesn’t play games and doesn’t want to. It’s heady to have a gorgeous man tell you he misses you after less than thirty-six hours apart.

Me

Not too much at all. I’ve missed you too.

Once I’m pleased with my makeup and my outfit, I quickly throw some clothes and supplies into an overnight bag and set it by the apartment door. Ryder and I haven’t discussed spending the night together after the party, but I’d rather be over prepared than under. I’m pacing the living room floor when another text comes, telling me he’s here. I buzz him in, and my heart speeds up a minute later when there’s a knock on my door.

“Hi,” I say breathlessly when I throw the door open and find Ryder standing there in a perfectly fitted hunter-green suit. Hisicy eyes melt as they take me in from head to toe. Heat flares in his gaze, and his perfect lips quirk into a pleased grin. My heart does a happy flip when he holds out a bouquet.

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