Page 53 of The Christmas You Crash

You’re falling for him, aren’t you?

No!

Yes.

Crap.

LOL! Oh, Alexis. What are you going to do? He plays for your dad.

I know he does. And I have no idea what to do. I really like him, Rach. He’s sweet and funny and romantic. He woke up early this morning to decorate the cabin for me and make breakfast. You should see it. It’s beautiful.

Really? Wow. That is romantic. Garrett never would have done anything like that.

I know.

God, Garrett was such a dick. I know you were heartbroken when he broke up with you, but I never really liked that guy. He was too full of himself.

Yeah, well, live and learn. And from now on, I’ll trust you when you tell me a guy is a douchebag.

Damn straight, you will. Now, what are you going to do about Ryder? Does he want to date you?

Yes.

And you want to date him, but you’re scared.

Duh.

What exactly are you scared of?

My dad finding out. Him being pissed. Or him not caring at all. Of getting my heart broken again. Of falling for someone who will choose hockey over me, in the end.

Like your dad always has.

Like my dad always has. Yep.

Look, I don’t know Ryder, but from what little you’ve told me so far, he doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who’d hurt you. At least, not on purpose. And hockey’s his job, babe. But that doesn’t mean you won’t be important to him.

I know. I do. I just... I want to come first for once, you know?

I get that. But how do you know he won’t put you first unless you give him a shot? You deserve to be happy and loved. But to get that, you have to take risks.

Dammit. Stop being so logical and wise.

Can’t. It’s who I am.

LOL. I miss you. Next break, I’m coming to Chicago to visit you.

Please! I miss you so much.

Talk more soon? I gotta go before Ryder wonders where I disappeared to.

You know it. Love you, Lex. Merry Christmas.

Love you too. Merry Christmas.

Clean and dressed, I wander out of my bedroom to find Ryder with another cookie in his hand as he stares out at the snow-covered woods and the lake beyond. For such a large man, there’s something so pure and boyish about his expression as he admires the scenery. It’s enticing in a way I can’t fully articulate. He’s not endlessly posturing and pretending to be someone else. He’s justRyder. Never once, in the days we’ve been here, has he made it seem like he thinks he’s hot shit or somehow deserving of worship simply because he plays for the Rogues.

My ex-boyfriend was the opposite. He loved being looked at as though he was special. And Garrett was always after adulation and special treatment. Even with me.

---