Page 81 of Body Checked By the Defenseman

“I’m right here.” I wipe away my tears.

He walks over to the bed and wraps me in his arms. “I hate to see you cry.”

“Everything is such a mess.” I laugh sadly because after all of the crazy that just went down, it’s my crying that’s bothering him.

“It is.” He blows out a breath.

“You were going to leave without saying goodbye,” I murmur, my voice is so small I can barely hear it myself, but him leaving would have gutted me.

“I was going after Hayden for us,” he explains. “I love you and I need him to accept us.” He shifts so he is facing me.

“I love you too,” I sigh. “Why does it have to be so difficult? This holiday has been one debacle after another. I’m not related to Abuela by blood, and Riley stabbed me in the back. I should’ve known she would.”

“We never did talk about our parents growing up,” he says out of nowhere.

“It always felt too painful to think about them. I always assumed my dad went back to Sweden and my mom. . . I mean, Carmen, was sitting on a beach somewhere enjoying a margarita. Reality is too grim to think about.”

“My parents. . .” He bows his head and his lower lip trembles. “They were great parents, Periwinkle. Dad, his name was David, he was a dentist. He had a practice where he treated adults and children. I used to go in and visit him on occasion and he always had this bright welcoming smile. Mom, her name was Helen, she was a nurse in a hospital. Sometimes she did the night shift and Dad cooked us dinner and we hung out. I played soccer on a local team and we lived in this really nice house with a big balcony out front and a large green yard. I feel like I am forgetting them. They are fading from my memory and that scares me. Growing up without them meant I was always thinking about them and what they would do, but I didn’t share them with anyone because they were mine.”

“Oh, Mack.” I lean over and hug him. “It sounds like such a good life.”

“Not having them for guidance meant I was always questioning my next move. What would Mom say? What would Dad think? I think that’s where a lot of my self-esteem issuescame from,” he confesses. He leans back and shifts to lie against the headboard. I shift too so I am sitting beside him.

“You lived in Jersey, right?” I ask because he mentioned it once.

“Yeah, it was a great neighborhood.”

“We should go back there one day. Maybe you’ll end up playing for the New Jersey Rockets and we could live in Jersey.”

Macklin watches me with an expression I can’t read.

“Did I say something wrong? You’re freaking me out right now,” I say, looking wide-eyed.

“Nothing wrong with what you said, Periwinkle. I never had the courage to go back home. It always felt too painful but now that I have you, I feel like I can do anything,” he states and those words gut me.

“Mack, you’re the strongest person I know. You never needed me,” I assure him.

“I want you, Periwinkle. Always.”

“Good, because I’m not going anywhere.” I straddle him.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he asks.

“I need you, Mack. I’m done hiding. Abuela is perfectly fine with us together,” I remind.

“Which is weird,” he says.

“Why is it weird? Deep down I felt like she would accept us,” I say to him.

“She is a very special lady.”

“She really is. She isn’t even related to Hayden and me and she put her whole life on hold for us.” It feels surreal that a stranger would do that for kids who came from a guy who treated her daughter badly.

Macklin sighs. “I owe her my life.”

I lean in and kiss him. His hands wrap around my back, and he deepens the kiss, his tongue coming out to play. I also feelhim harden beneath me, so I press my center against him and he groans.

“We need this, Mack.”

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