“What does Ruby think?” Abuela asks.
“She’s crazy about me. I’m crazy about her, but what kind of life can I give her? My parents are gone, I didn’t have a proper family to know how to be in one. I’m grateful for you keeping me alive all those years, but Leila was a bitter bitch,” I share, feeling like I can’t hold back anymore. Years of bad feelings pour out of me like a broken faucet.
“You know, when I first met you, I saw this polite, well-behaved kid who didn’t belong with a woman like Leila. You had a kindness in your eyes and a way of behaving that never really fit in our neighborhood where the kids were rough and robberies were commonplace. The reason for that was your parents did a hell of a job raising you with the time they had. You’re kind, honest, and giving. You worry about everyone but yourself. Have you ever spoken to Ruby or Hayden about your parents?” she asks.
I shake my head. “None of us spoke about our parents.”
“Ruby and Hayden didn’t have such an easy start like you. Their father was depressed. He was a hockey player back in Sweden but in America he was nothing, and that didn’t sit well with him. Other than getting Hayden on skates he didn’t contribute much to either of them. My daughter, Carmen, did the best she could with them but she also had issues of her own. When Johan left, she broke. I’m the only stability those two ever had. We weren’t a typical family, but we loved each other. I always taught them to be optimistic and not let life bring you down.”
“You did good with them,” I praise, feeling my cheeks flush for complimenting her.
“I did the best I could, given my circumstances,” she confirms. She exhales and looks at me thoughtfully. “I think you need to speak about your parents, Mack. I think it would be healthy for you and it would be good for Ruby to know about your family.”
“Does that mean you aren’t mad about Ruby and I sneaking around?” I ask, feeling like my stomach is tied up in knots.
“Do I wish you guys felt comfortable enough to come to me? The answer is yes. I saw something between you two on Thanksgiving. Honestly, it made me feel giddy inside. Ruby is the best and you are the best. I believe you’ll be good for each other. Sneaking around is never a good option though.”
“You’re right,” I agree. I’m not going to throw Ruby under the bus and say she wanted time for us to explore things. “I love her so much. I want to give her everything she wants.”
“I know, Mack.” She pats my thigh. “Ruby is a lucky girl.”
“What do I do about Hayden? I feel sick about everything that went down.”
“Give him time and tell him you love his sister. He probably just wants to know that she’ll be loved and taken care of,” she advises.
“But you heard the way he spoke to me. He thinks this is a game for me,” I say, feeling sick about it. I didn’t want to punch my best friend in the face, but there was no way I was going to let him bad-mouth Ruby.
“So, convince him otherwise. Don’t pretend that you’ve been a saint. You’ve had your share of girls. Hayden is protective of Ruby but if he knows your intentions are pure, then he’ll be okay. He’ll accept you two.”
“I just worry that I’ve hurt our friendship,” I admit.
“You guys are family; it will be okay. Now I think you need to go find Periwinkle. She needs you.” With that she winks and walks away.
How does she know that nickname? I don’t ask but a smile spreads my lips, and I shake my head laughing.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
My Wildest Dreams
Ruby
When Hayden was facing off with Macklin, my heart split in two because we had been connected since our tweens, and it felt like nothing could ever come between us. Abuela had always taught me to look at the bright side, but all I saw was black when she came up to me and said, “Everything will be okay.” She wrapped her arm around me and sounded so sure.
“How can you say that?” I asked her. There was a limit to thinking positive and my glass was now overflowing
“Because I know you kids,” she answered like it was obvious to her.
She wasn’t wrong. She had been there through our teen years, getting us through our ups and downs. “He’s leaving. He’s walking out on me,” I said when I saw Macklin bring his suitcases by the door.
“He isn’t leaving you. He wants to make things right with your brother so he can have you,” Abuela said, shocking me. She didn’t know much about Macklin and me, other thanRiley’s stupid announcement. How she came to this conclusion astounded me.
“I don’t know how you can say that?” I responded, feeling flabbergasted.
“I need you to trust me, Rubes. Now go downstairs and take a breather because I need to speak with Mack before he walks out that door.” She patted my shoulder and guided me to the basement. If there was anyone in this world I trusted, it was her.
I listened and went downstairs but I didn’t want to bump into Vicky, Riley, and their friends, so I went into the room where Macklin spent the night and buried my face in a pillow and cried. The thought of Macklin leaving me made me feel physically sick. My only hope was that Abuela was right and he only wanted to fix things. But if that was the case, what was taking so long? I stared at the ceiling, thinking how Macklin and I could’ve handled the situation better, but nothing came up. Everything had played out perfectly between us. Every moment was cherished and we needed that time, dammit. We needed it to know if what we had was real because, if I am being honest with myself, it was never about my V-card. It was always about me saving my heart for the only boy I ever loved. A small whimper escapes me as I think of how tragic that sounds.
The door opens slowly, and Macklin stands looking solemn, “I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”