Page 56 of Body Checked By the Defenseman

“Mack, you’re the best person I know. We’ve laughed together, we’ve cried together. You have always been there for me and Hayden. Why are you talking this way?” I ask, feeling so hurt he feels this way about himself.

He pulls his hand out of my grip and sits up. He stands and slips on his boxers, and then he takes a seat at the edge of the bed with his head hanging low.

“I don’t want to do this. I knew what this was going in. You don’t need to spare my feelings,” he says.

My heart fractures down the center because I don’t understand why he is feeling this way. “Mack, I asked you. I wanted it to be you because no one makes me feel the way you do. When you’re close to me, you don’t even need to touch me and my body responds. I’ve never been this way with any guy. And I trust you. I trust you more than I trust anyone in this world. I know you care too much, and you have my back. I know growing up you were dealt a shitty hand, but you are amazing inside and out. I don’t know when I fell in love with you. But I did. And these last few months, the care you’ve taken with me. The sweet tender touches you’ve shown me. It’s made us grow closer, and I know it’s a problem. . .”

“Periwinkle, there was nothing sweet or tender about what just happened in this bed. I may have been with a lot of girls. But none of them were you. They didn’t matter. But you love me as a good friend.”

I shake my head. “No, Mack, I don’t have very much experience, but I know what my heart wants. I know I couldn’t take guys up on their offers because I wasn’t attracted to them, or I just didn’t connect with them. But the truth is, they weren’t you. The kind of love I have for you may have started with friendship, but today it’s so much more,” I confess as tears stream down my cheeks.

His finger swipes at my cheeks. “I never want to make you cry, but I’m broken. I want to believe your words. I told myself I could handle this arrangement because you needed me. I can’t say no to you, but my heart has been on the line from the start. I love you so much, Periwinkle. I lied to you about the tattoo. I got it because of you. Because you were always in my heart and I knew I couldn’t have you, but I wanted you close anyway.”

“Mack.” I kiss him softly. “I love you,” I say against his lips. “I love you,” I repeat. “I love you. I’ll say it as often as I have to because I can’t imagine being with anyone but you.”

“You don’t know what your words are doing to me,” he says, and his eyes are filled with tears that don’t fall. In all the years I have never seen Macklin cry. “Your brother won’t accept us.”

“He will,” I assure him. “He has to understand.”

“He won’t, and he’ll want to beat my ass because tomorrow I am going to take your virginity, and I am not going to feel bad about it.”

I break into laughter. “Hallelujah,” I chant.

“You’re crazy.” He laughs, shaking his head.

“Crazy for you,” I tell him.

“I’m crazy for you too, Periwinkle.” He kisses me. “We should get dressed and head downstairs. It sounds like the party has fizzled out and we’ve been up here for hours.”

“You’re right.” I sigh. “Although I like being in the bubble of your room.”

“I like having you here.”

Macklin puts the clothes he was wearing before and I slip on the fresh panties and bra I brought up with me before the shower. Then I put on the cropped tank top and my jogging pants . My hair is a complete mess so I brush my fingers through it and put it up in a loose bun.

We head downstairs to see that a lot of the guests have left.

“Where have you two been?” Aaron asks. He is so drunk he falls over a second later. Luckily the couch was there to break his fall. He stays horizontal on the couch. Macklin and I don’t answer him and he seems to have lost interest. Hopefully, he forgets seeing us together.

Finn and Charlie have started cleaning up. My best friend doesn’t look my way.

The other guys from the team are gone and there are still a few girls hanging out on the couch where Aaron is half passed out.

“Time to head home,” Macklin says, kicking them out. They sigh but they get up and leave.

With everyone gone and Aaron passed out on the couch, I look over at Charlie.

“Can I talk to you in the kitchen?” I ask her.

She nods.

I follow her. I just hope I can repair the damage I’ve done to our friendship.

CHAPTER TWENTY

Tomorrow Is a Big Day

Ruby

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