Page 11 of Anti Player

I walk toward the door. She follows me.

“Brett can be a little much sometimes,” she says when I reach for the handle.

“Don’t I know it,” I mutter.

“I’m here if you want to talk about it,” she whispers.

I turn to look at her. “You’re the last person I want to talk to about this.”

She flinches, but it isn’t what I meant. I am attracted to her. I don’t want her thinking I’m weird.

I leave and head over to my apartment.

I can’t believe Brett embarrassed me like that. Fuck him.

I head to the shower because I told Taylor I would meet her at a coffee shop in an hour.

In the shower, memories of my childhood come tumbling back. I’m ten years old, stuttering in class. Kids are making fun of me. Truth is I always stuttered. Mom got me help when I was younger. My dad would get upset when I couldn’t speak right. He felt my stutter showed weakness. The only time I didn’t really stutter was when I was with my team playing hockey. I felt relaxed with them. My relationship with Dad was tense, but he gave me hockey. Got me on skates by the time I was three and had me stickhandling by the time I was five. In high school I was a Tier 1 player. Things got more intense with practices, and I slowly grew out of my stutter, but the effects stuck with me. I couldn’t get a date in high school until I made it on a Tier 1 team. Kids made fun of me and I didn’t have the guts to ask a girl on a date. I went to junior prom with friends. It was only my senior year of high school that things changed. My stutter improved. Girls were breathing down my neck. I grew tall, strong, and had muscles on me from all the exercise. I enjoyed the attention, but it felt like it wasn’t genuine. Some of those girls didn’t look my way when I was younger. Some even laughed at my stutter in class. I try to shake off all the bad vibes radiating through my body. I’m pissed that Brett outed me in front of Maddie. She was the only girl I knew who had been kind to me. Henry was a genuine friend too, but he was content being the class nerd. Maddie was beautiful, smart, and popular, but she was always kind, helping me out with my siblings. She had my back. She liked me for me.

I give my head a shake. Thinking about how kind and beautiful Maddie is won’t help my current situation because I can’t pursue her. Brett would never accept me going for his sister, and I don’t think she looks at me in that way. That is why I need to keep her in the safe pocket of being Mad Pie. She didn’tlike when I called her that, but it’s better I keep that boundary for myself.

I exit the shower and get ready for my date. I don’t have my hopes up for tonight because why will Taylor be any different to me than the others? Besides now my head is spinning with Maddie back in town. Still, I need to give Taylor a chance. I can’t break the bro code.

I remind myself Taylor is sweet and not a puck bunny. She didn’t even know I was a hockey player. That’s already a good start. I need to focus on Taylor and not pine for a girl I’ll never get.

With that I get dressed and head out for my date. I hop in an Uber because I don’t want to deal with parking. When the driver pulls up to the dessert place, I don’t see Taylor. I head inside and text her. She says she is walking over and will be here in a minute. I am feeling on edge after Brett blurted my virginal status to Maddie. When Taylor walks in, she looks pretty. She’s wearing a jean skirt and a T-shirt with her hair falling over her shoulders. It’s a simple outfit but I am digging her choice.

“Hi,” I say and lean in to hug her. She’s not a puck bunny who is forward about their intentions so she’s kind of awkward about the hug, and I like that too. We are seated at a table for two.

“So how have you been?” I ask.

“Busy, I’ve been working with the catering company a lot and I help out at a homeless shelter delivering food. I also walk dogs for some of my neighbors, so I am basically always on the go,” she explains.

“Being busy is good.” I nod.

“Yeah, I guess. How about you? You mentioned winning the championship in your league, right?” she says.

“Yeah, that was a whirlwind.” I blow out a breath just thinking of the excitement of winning the Stanley Cup.

A waiter comes by. “Can I start you off with drinks?” he asks.

“I’ll take whatever coffee you have that’s spiked,” Taylor says.

“We’ve got a lot,” he explains, and he shows her the menu. She makes her choice.

Then he asks me for my order. “I’ll have a chamomile tea, please.”

Taylor cocks her brow. “You aren’t going to order cake?”

I laugh. “I can’t always indulge. Even if I am in the offseason right now.”

“So what do you do when you aren’t playing hockey?” she asks.

“I run a foundation for kids who stutter,” I reply, and I watch her reaction. This isn’t something I normally talk about on a date. The puck bunnies are not interested in my charity work.

“That sounds nice. What exactly does that entail?” she asks. I know I am being critical, but the fact that she cares to ask more questions makes me like her more.

“I run an intensive summer hockey camp for the kids,” I explain. “I stuttered as a child. I still do sometimes when I get nervous, or I’m caught off guard.”

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