Page 86 of It's Mother-Pucking Christmas!

“Why does Ryder get a bigger stocking?” my brother complained.

“We’re making up for lost time.” My mother petted Ryder lovingly as we all dug into our stockings.

“Coal?” I shrieked.

“Aw, Mom, seriously?” Timmy sighed as he emptied out his coal-stuffed stocking.

I stared down at the pile of literal coal on the floor in front of me.

I looked in the stocking. Shook it out.

Only coal dust.

“Where are the Sephora gift cards? Where are the face masks? Where are the candles and the chocolate orange? Mom, seriously?”

“Damn, Mom, I thought I was getting a gaming gift card,” Timmy whined.

“You two were horrible to Ryder.” My mom sniffed. “So you get coal in your stockings. Be better people next year.”

“Don’t argue with your mom,” my dad said as he and his brothers passed around booze-laced eggnog.

“Can I just have the rum?” Hudson asked as a cup of thick eggnog was shoved in his hands.

“You take off your shirt you can have whatever you want,” Granny Murray said, making Hudson’s eye twitch. “Ryder’s over here giving the best gift of all.”

“You want to share?” I scooted over to Ryder as he dug through his stocking.

It was filled with Direwolves merch.

“I might not even make the team,” he said in concern.

“You will,” Uncle Nate promised as my mom snugged the Direwolves skullcap onto Ryder’s head.

“He can’t wear that in the photos,” Violet warned. “Put the Icebreakers hat back on him so I can get more pics.”

Gracie grimaced and slipped me one of the Ulta gift cards she got in her stocking. “Merry Christmas.”

“Don’t give her that!” Gracie’s sister Kelly snapped. “You’re too nice for your own good.”

“Hold up your stockings!” my mom ordered. “Say Merry Christmas! Dakota, get that coal up off my carpet.”

I huffed and went to fetch the small vacuum cleaner. When I came back, my mom was announcing, “Okay, now presents!”

Ryder’s eyebrows shot up.

“But this…” He gestured helplessly to the pile of stocking stuffers on the floor. “This is already a lot.”

“This was just the stockings. Like a little appetizer,” I explained. “We go big on Christmas. Wait until you see Christmas dinner.”

My dad, wearing a Santa hat, passed out packages.

Ryder just stared at his pile of beautifully wrapped presents… and not so beautifully, depending on who had done the gifting. I’d begged Gracie to wrap mine, and so of course they looked amazing.

“Just dig into them,” my mom urged him as my siblings and cousins and I all ripped into our presents. Ryder carefully untied the ribbon on his first present while the rest of us tore into ours like wild animals.

“More coal?” I shrieked, opening my first box.

“We used your Christmas present budget for Ryder,” my aunts informed me as he was showered in gifts.

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