Page 5 of It's Mother-Pucking Christmas!

Mike applauded.

“But they’re trying to…you know… with a fan. That’s against the rules,” I argued.

Coach sighed loudly.

“Oh.” Dakota piped up. “I amdefinitelynot a fan. In fact, I hate your team. Arctic Avengers all the way. I’d never date the captain of the motherfucking Icebreakers. I will, however, sleep with you all.” She blew me and my teammates a kiss.

“Fuck that!” My friends refused. “We’re not traitors.”

“Dammit, Dakota!” Granny Murray scolded, “All that work down the toilet.”

“Definitely snatching defeat out of the jaws of victory,” Gracie said.

Dakota scowled.

“Well, that is how the Arctic Avengers do it.” I sneered at her.

Dakota gave me the finger. “I hope you lose all your teeth out there.”

3

DAKOTA

“All that hard work wasted.” Granny Murray railed into her drink.

“Gran, you’re lucky they didn’t arrest you,” Gracie scolded.

“Arrest her? I’m filing a restraining order,” Hudson growled, jumping over the stadium seating to stand in front of us, big, hulking, and imposing in black. He crossed his arms.

“Now hold on. I thought we were family!” Granny Murray slammed her hand down on the plastic seat.

“You’re stalking one of my clients. Family coverage doesn’t extend to that.”

“It was for charity. It’s Christmas, Hudson.” Granny Murray grabbed my arm. “And if Dakota had just slept with the boy, then all this would be moot. A restraining order.” Granny Murray shook her head.

“I don’t know if I’d call him a boy.” Gracie giggled. “That’s a grown man—a big one.”

“They wear padding under their uniforms, Gracie,” Hudson snarled. “They aren’t that big.”

“Those ice-blue eyes.” Gracie nudged me.

“I know!” Granny Murray swooned. “He’s perfect for Dakota.”

“I’d never date an Icebreakers hockey player, Gran. Why would you set me up with him?”

“You said you were lowering your standards.”

“No, Mom said that.”

“Let’s go,” Hudson barked and grabbed Granny Murray. “We’re going down to the police precinct.”

“Hudson, wait!” Gracie raced after him. “This is ridiculous. That’s my grandmother.”

I picked up Pugnog and Kringle off the seat, settling the little dogs in my lap. I should leave. Why the hell was I here watching the freaking Icebreakers play?Barf.

It wasn’t fair.

Two seasons ago, the Arctic Avengers had dominated in New England. Then their star player had been stolen by a Canadian team, and the Icebreakers had hiredhim.Ryder O’Connell. He didn’t participate in the NHL draft because he’d wanted to go to college. He played D1, didn’t get hired for the NHL after graduation, then faded away into obscurity. Everyone on the Arctic Avengers had celebrated Coach Kowalski’s dumb waste of money hiring some nobody from a beer league onto his team. The Arctic Avengers were going to dominate for a century.

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