Page 4 of It's Mother-Pucking Christmas!

“You frightened him, Gran,” Gracie scolded.

“Oh my god.” Erik gasped at my feet, holding his side. “College Boy is afraid of a little old lady.”

I sputtered, “Shut your mouth, Canada.”

“Are you going to ‘oh heck’ him?” Pete snickered.

“Sonny, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. You seem like a nice boy.” The old woman patted me on the arm.

Hudson slapped her hand away.

“As an apology present”—she grabbed Dakota and pushed her toward me—“I will let you have sex with my granddaughter. She puts out, and her boobs are real.” She squeezed Dakota’s chest.

“Oh, uh…” I rocked back on my skates. “That’s very kind of you, ma’am, but no. No thank you.”

Dakota had the nerve to look offended.

My teammates’ mouths dropped open, then they laid into me.

“Who the hell are you?”

“Fucking Boy Scout.”

“Come on, Ryder!”

“Jesus Christ, College Boy.”

“Dude!”

“Shame! Shame to the family. Shame to the team…” Rick slapped his glove.

“I’m not having relations with her,” I stammered. “I don’t even know her.”

Dakota raised an eyebrow.

Pete muscled up to Dakota. “I’ll take the apology present, beautiful. I have a very nice hotel suite—hot tub, big bed. Expense account.”

“No! No expense accounts,” Coach barked.

Erik shoved Pete aside. “How about a two-for-one deal?”

Dakota looked interested. The pretty brunette put her finger to her lips like she was seriously thinking about it.

I sucker punched Erik.

“Hey!” Coach slapped the back of my head.

I didn’t even feel it.

“You’re not sleeping with her. Certainly not both of you, ingrates,” I snarled.

“Ooh, College Boy is mad!” Rick giggled.

“All of you, shut the fuck up!” Coach yelled. “Shaddap!”

I sniffed.

“Ryder, you’re kind of a prude.” Coach turned on me. “Dial it back. You’re almost thirty, for Chrissake, and for someone who says he wants a family, you’re about as effective as a panda in that department.”

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