Page 22 of Three Reasons

If we can give her this, I think we stand a damn good chance of convincing her that we absolutely can have a life together.

Eli

Watching Gray sleep is one of the most relaxing things I’ve ever done. I don’t even know why, and it’s sappy as shit. The way she breathes fascinates me. They are even, slow breaths, and I can count each one leisurely as if they were my own.

Gray sleeps on her stomach while I lie on my side, contemplating how we can make her ours. Tie her to us and us to her. I think of all the ways we will have to fight for what we want with how judgemental society can be. Will she be ready for it? Areweready for it?

Sitting up, I slip the thin cotton sheet down her body, needing to see all of her again. A small tattoo adorns the back of one thigh just below her plump ass cheek. Wanting a closer look, I kneel over her, inspecting the inkblot-black drawing.

At first, I wonder who she trusts enough to tattoo her there, but then I recognize what it is—a little blue bird flying through a cloud. There is no more detail than what gives you a hint of its existence, and I wonder if this is how she imagines herself.

“I drew it when I was nine.” Her drowsy voice startles me.

Gazing into her sleep-filled eyes, I lightly trace the small cloud. “What for?”

She doesn’t have to ask what I mean, she just knows, and I fucking love how intuitive she is.

“I got into a fight with my dad in the garden one day. After he left me a crying mess, a flock of small blue birds flew overhead, but there was this one small one left behind. I felt like we were one in that moment. It’s silly and wishful, but I felt less alone than I ever had. Realizing even the smallest creatures fought to find their way was almost healing, I guess.”

She looks down as if ashamed, like she is the only one who doesn’t know her place in the world. My fingers halt their gentle exploration to hold her as I lay back down. Pulling her to my chest, I whisper in her ear, “You could find your place with us.”

I hold my breath as she looks up at me with hope shining so brightly in her eyes it’s nearly blinding. Her smile matches as she snuggles closer to me, reaching out to grab Callan’s hand as he remains unaware of the precious moment we’ve just shared.

Soon enough, her breathing evens out, and Cal’s eyes pop open, meeting mine before lingering on Gray. “You think they broke her too much for her to allow us to love her?” The thought had crossed my mind.

Shaking my head, I respond, “She wants this. She’s afraid of it, but I get the sense she needs us to take control. She needs us to show her that we’re in it for life, and once we’ve convinced her of that, things will be easier on all of us.” I have to believe it.

“You really think our love will be enough?” Callan’s doubt is warranted. Gray has been conditioned to expect the worst out of the ones who should love her the most, but I refuse to allow that to be the reason we can’t be together.

“Actions, man, she needs to see ours, and eventually, as much as waiting will suck, she’ll see that all we want is herhappiness and to shower her with so much love she’ll feel strangled.”

A woman like her is so damn strong, I don’t think it’ll take much to get her to trust us once she understands we’re sincere in those actions.

Gray

Waking up in their arms is terrifying and exhilarating all at once. I love the secure feeling I have from being so close to them all night. I adore the way they cherish me as they worship me. Callan is so reserved outside the bedroom, but as soon as he has me naked, he’s in control. Calm, cool, and collected. He knows what he’s doing and shows no fear in owning every ounce of my pleasure he can.

Eli is silent, always watching. I feel like he will memorize all my hot spots, savour every moan and sigh as he nibbles his way along my body.

They’re both just as fierce-looking in their sleep as they are awake. There is no soft side to either of them in slumber; I’m in awe of it. I wish I could memorialize my mighty lovers in a photograph.

What we did the night before was the best time of my life, but now, emotions are flooding me, and I’m not sure I’m ready for them. Will they still want me in the cold light of day? Am I goodenough for two men? Worst of all… Do I even deserve them? Doubt leaves me nervous and reckless.

Needing to get away from them and the feelings they evoke, I quickly grab my clothes and dress as I make my way downstairs again, intending to leave before they wake up.

It would be rude to leave without a word, so I search around until I find the kitchen. Noticing the table set for three, with candles in the middle ready to be lit andcovered dishes waiting to be unveiled, my heart melts a bit. They really did want to wine and dine me.

I’m torn between wanting to stay and needing to work through my thoughts. Deciding I’ll make them a pot of coffee and leave a note, I set about my task. After the coffee starts percolating, I sit at the counter trying to figure out what to write without sounding like what we’ve shared was just a booty call.

Guys,

(Not sure how to address that without sounding weird.)

E & C?

(Weirder still.)

I guess I’ll just start.

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