Page 72 of Play Book

I wind my arms around his neck. “Where is she, by the way?”

“Shopping with Stevie. We have until eight.”

“Really.” I shake my ponytail loose and let my hair flow around my shoulders. “That’s hours from now.”

“I know.” His lips continue to toy with mine, a playful precursor to foreplay.

“There has to be more to us than sex,” I whisper against his mouth.

“Isn’t there?” He doesn’t move away, but he stops kissing me.

“You tell me.”

“Babe…” His eyes are strangely intent. “Please don’t take this the wrong way—but I have probably a dozen numbers in my contacts right now, all women who’d be completely on board with letting me come over for nothing more than sex. Any time, any place. So there’s a hell of a lot more than sex going on here.”

Okay, then.

I guess that answers that.

I can’t think of any more questions or objections.

“Take me to bed, Canyon.”

Three orgasms and a shower later, we’re in the living room eating Chinese food in front of the fireplace. It’s been colder than usual the last week, so it feels good to snuggle together as we eat.

“So, you hadn’t talked to your sister at all?” I ask. “Before she died?”

He shakes his head. “She tried to call me a couple of times recently, but I didn’t answer because I figured she wanted money. Now I wish I’d answered. Maybe she’d still be alive.”

“If she overdosed, you know that’s not true. It might not have happened when it did, but it was coming.”

He sighs. “My brain knows that, but my heart is struggling.”

“That’s only natural. No matter what happened, she’s still your sister.”

“I feel guilty that I didn’t answer, and then I feel guilty that I’m not more upset than I am since I feel like I lost her a long time ago.”

“Will you tell me what happened between you?”

He puts down the carton of shrimp fried rice and wipes his mouth. “You really want to hear it? Some of it is gross.”

“Sure.” I tuck my legs under me and shift so I’m facing him.

“Carly was two years older than me. She started dating this guy Shawn when she was fifteen. He was a few years older, and none of us liked him. My mom was still alive then, and she would always say that Carly would outgrow him, that she’d figure out he wasn’t the right guy in her own time. Except when she was sixteen, she got pregnant. She tried to have an abortion, but I guess she chickened out? By the time she told my parents, she was too far along. Shawn had ghosted her, and she was seventeen when Ally was born.

“At first, it wasn’t too bad. My parents were disappointed that it happened, but Ally was so cute, and Carly was doing well in school so we coasted along. Then, right after she graduated, our mom was diagnosed with cancer and Shawn came back. Suddenly he had this intense need to claim his family. He wanted to be a dad, be with Carly.” He makes a face, his eyes suddenly very far away. “Of course, what he really wanted was to use them for his drug deals. I mean, cops wouldn’t think twice about a young couple out taking their baby for a walk in her stroller, right?”

I grimace. “Yikes.”

“We didn’t know what was going on at first, because Carly seemed happy. I was a typical seventeen-year-old, in my junior year of high school a couple hours away from home. I went to a boarding school that had an intensive hockey program, so that took up most of my time. In the middle of all that, Mom was dealing with her breast cancer treatment, so there was a lot going on.”

He’s quiet for a beat, and it’s obvious he’s gone back in time, reliving whatever it was that happened.

“Anyway, it was summer. I was getting ready for senior year, I had a part-time job, a girlfriend who was putting out—” He has a wry smile as he says it. “You know, all the things seventeen-year-olds live for. I should have been paying more attention…”

“You were seventeen,” I say gently, reaching for his hand. “Nothing going on was your fault.”

“I know, but looking back, I knew Shawn wasn’t a good guy. I should have seen the signs. Carly was using by that point, and with Mom having chemo, no one paid much attention to her. So one day in August, Dad’s at the hospital with Mom, Carly’s out somewhere, and I get home early from work. There’s music on, but I hear Ally crying in the bedroom, so I go in that direction. I open the door and…” He lets out a shaky breath. “Fuck. I’ll never wipe that image from my mind.”

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