Page 147 of Play Book

“Do you?”

She nods, tears filling her eyes. “But I’m scared. Because I don’t know if anyone wants to be my mom. No one ever wanted to be my dad either.”

“Oh, baby.” I can’t resist pulling her in for a hug. “Canyon and I, we do want to be your parents. We love you.”

“Even you?” she asks in a tiny voice. “Even though I’ve been so mean to you?”

“You haven’t been mean,” I say, stroking her back. “You were dealing with a lot of changes, emotions, grief…you didn’t know who else to take it out on and I guess I was an easy target. But in a family, that’s what we do. We’re there for each other, even when things are tough.”

“Last night you protected me,” she whispers. “You threw yourself at him so I could get away, even though he had a gun. You could have died!”

“But I didn’t,” I soothe, pulling back so I can look into her face. “I’m here. You’re here. Russell is in jail and we’re okay.”

“I miss my mom but I’m mad at her too.”

“I think that’s normal under the circumstances.”

“I’m scared to love you and Uncle Canyon… I don’t want you to leave me too.”

“We’re not going anywhere.

“You promise?”

“I do.”

She throws her arms around me again and buries her face in my chest.

And I hold her.

I’ve always wanted to be a mom, but I hadn’t expected it to be so soon. Or to an eleven-year-old. And yet, it feels right. Like I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.

“What about if you have your own babies?”

“I’d like to have a couple of babies,” I say, “and I’m going to love each of them equally. Just like we’re going to love you equally. There’s no limit on love, sweetheart. I have a big enough heart to love all of you.”

She seems to ruminate about that.

“Uncle Canyon was really sad when you were broken up.”

“I was sad too.”

“But you did that for me.” She makes a face. “I don’t want anyone to be sad because of me.”

“Grown-ups sometimes make hard decisions for their children. It’s part of our love for you.”

“I want you to be part of our life,” she whispers. “If you want to.”

“I do.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” I turn back to the sink. “Okay, so we need to clean up this mess you made and then plan what we’re making for dinner. We want Canyon to be able to focus on hockey, so you and I need to pick up the slack here at the house. Deal?”

Ally grins. “Deal.”

The next few days are quiet, the three of us hanging out, cooking together, and sharing chauffeur duty taking Ally back and forth to school. Canyon and I are finding a new groove with our relationship, so I haven’t gone back to my house at all, but it’s time. I need more clothes and to check my mail. Besides, we’ve decided he’s going to move out when his lease ends next month and move in with me since I have more room, and I can’t do anything with my duplex until Joel and Gina’s lease is up.

It’s a Thursday afternoon and Ally’s at school, so I spend a little time catching up on things before someone knocks on the door. I glance at the video monitor on my phone and see Gina standing there.

---