Page 146 of Play Book

It’s a beautiful day, and I’m not going to let a little headache bring me down.

I freshen up and then pad into the kitchen.

Canyon and Ally are making pancakes, and there seems to be batter everywhere.

“Hi!” Ally has a determined look on her face. “Do you like pancakes?”

“I do.” I nod.

“We found a recipe,” she said, “but I’m not sure we’re doing it right. We can’t seem to make them round.”

“Well,” I move around the island to the stove. “It helps to have a griddle that’s flat and has more room than a frying pan, but here—let me show you.” I remove the boxy looking pancake from the pan, put it on a nearby plate that seems to be overflowing with more boxy-looking pancakes, and check the temperature on the stove.

“It said to keep it low, so they have time to cook,” Canyon says, meeting my eyes questioningly, “but I think maybe it’s too low?”

“Yeah, it should be on medium-high in the beginning and then drop down to medium.” I adjust the flame, and then slowly pour the batter into the middle of the pan. It forms a perfect little circle and Ally throws up her hands.

“How do you do that?”

I laugh. “Practice.”

We spend the next twenty minutes practicing making perfectly round pancakes, but then Canyon pulls me to the side as Ally finishes the last batch.

“Listen, I have to get to practice. I asked Ally if she was okay staying with you for a few hours, and she said yes, but I wanted to check with you too.”

“We’ll be fine,” I say. “Don’t worry about us.”

“But I do worry. I always will. That’s part of being a family, right?”

“Yes, but right now, all I want you to worry about is hockey. We’ll work on everything else when the season is over.”

He stares into my eyes, a plethora of emotion reflected there. “I love you, Saylor.”

“I love you too.”

“You guys, let’s eat!” Ally calls out.

“I only have a few minutes,” Canyon says, grabbing a plate. “I have to leave in five.”

“Eat a little,” I tell him. “You’ll work hard at practice.”

“We added protein powder to the recipe,” Ally tells me, drowning her pancakes with syrup. “To give Uncle Canyon the fuel he needs.”

“Excellent. And protein makes up for how fattening pancakes are,” I add, taking a bite. “Oh, these are good.”

We eat in relative silence, but then Canyon is up, grabbing his bag, and out the door, promising to be back as soon as he can.

Then it’s just Ally and me, cleaning up the kitchen.

I asked Canyon last night if my sleeping over was a good idea, and he told me it had been Ally’s idea. That’s nice, but she and I still need to have a talk about the future. I love Canyon more than anything, but she has to be okay with my presence in his life. And hers.

“Can we talk?” I ask as I put dishes in the dishwasher.

“Okay.”

“Some of what I’m going to tell you is personal, and a lot of it is very mature, but I think you can handle it.” I turn to her. “I love your uncle. More than anything. We want to be together. We want to live together, share our life together, and hopefully build a future together. That future includes you, but you have to be okay with my being part of your life too. I will never, ever try to replace your mom. I just want?—”

“My mom was a terrible mom,” she whispers, dropping her gaze as if she feels guilty saying the words aloud. “She was never home. She was always drunk. She never could help me with homework or come to school parties. I’ve never really had a mom. Not like other moms. And I think…maybe… I want one.”

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