Page 161 of As the World Falls

“I’m fine. My book club is starting, so I can’t talk long.”

“I’m finishing up some work anyway. I’ll see you in what? An hour?”

“Actually…I’m working late tonight. I have a lot of cleaning to do here, and Ambrose and Marlin are going to stay behind and help me.”

“Should I bring by some dinner?”

“That’s okay. We’re going to order something.”

He makes a huffing noise. “Your first day back, and you’re already on top of the world. I miss you from down here.”

Butterflies erupt in my stomach, and I try very hard to control the cheek-to-cheek smile he’s forcing onto me. “Hardly. I’ll be home a little after nine. Don’t wait up for me if you’re tired.”

“Of course, I’ll wait. I’ll see you after nine. Before ten,” he says, making a point.

I roll my eyes. “I will be home before ten.”

“I love you,” he then says, and my heart feels like it starts thumping harder. Every time he says it, he says it with a tone like it’s the last time he ever will. Every time, it causes a glitch in my heartbeat.

“I love you,” I answer, then hang up the phone. When I turn around, I see Ambrose walking past me, excitedly shaking a bottle of wine.

“I brought the good stuff,” he chimes.

“Oh boy,” I remark as I flip the open sign to closed on the door and head up the stairs where everyone is gathered. A feeling of contentment and gratitude makes me feel like I could burst. I was so thankful for this, for everyone here, for James and his understanding, and for my first day back, which had gone perfectly.

It felt like finally, after everything I’d been through these last few months, all the changes and revelations, I could finally feel the one thing I had been chasing in the aftermath of it all.

Acceptance.

A few hours later, I shut the library door, unable to contain my laughter, as I watched Marlin carry a very drunk Ambrose to their waiting cab. We decided to order tacos for dinner because…well, does that even need an explanation? It’s tacos.

Little did we know you could also get margaritas delivered. So, on top of the wine, Ambrose ordered a pitcher of margaritas and drank almost all of it himself, which is why Marlin and I were still in our right state of mind. Well, mostly. Marlin was slightly intoxicated, and I felt a very light buzz, but I could think clearly for the most part.

I was mostly feeling warm and energetic. I walked over to the counter behind my desk, where an old stereo sat, and I turned it on, finicking with the dial to find the least fuzzy station. It settled on the oldie station, and energetic 80s rock filters through the stereo. I turned it up, did a little jig back to one of the tables where we had eaten, and began cleaning up.

I dance around the library, cleaning up trash left behind, wiping tables down, and sweeping the floor. It’s only ten past nine, so I decided to put back my returned books for a change before I head out. I was trying to sweat out the remaining alcohol in my system before I got home, and so far, I felt relatively back to normal.

I pick up a stack of books and shimmy into the endless stacks. I carefully find their homes, dancing around each shelf and getting rid of each book one by one. I smile when I get down to the last book, realizing it’s my favorite—The Noble Woman’s Lover.

I crouch down on the floor, flipping through the pages, reminiscing as I slowly bounce to the music. I’m nearly at the end when I feel a strange awareness prickling up my back as if feathers were caressing me. I look over my shoulder and nearly freeze, my heart feeling like it drops into my toes when I seeJames looming at the end of the aisle, leaning against the shelf, his stark gaze laser-focused on me.

“Holy shit,” I shout over the music. “You scared me!”

He smiles now, and I relax as he approaches me, his eyes never leaving mine as he stops in front of me. “I apologize. I didn’t want to interrupt…whatever you were doing.” His eyes furrow in confusion as his smirk grows. “Was that dancing or reading?”

I shrug, embarrassed. “A mixture, I guess.”

He nods, carefully taking the book from my hands and closing it to read the cover. “Ah, the noblewoman strikes again.”

I smile, nodding my head. “She always does.” I walk around him, head back to my desk, and turn off the stereo. The silence felt loud at first, and then I sat down, finally feeling exhausted after today.

He walks over to me, kneeling on the floor in front of me, although his height is still leveled with mine. “You look tired.”

“I think I overdid it today a little.”

“I was worried you would.”

“I feel good, though. I feel happy,” I mention, so he’s not as worried.

---