Page 156 of As the World Falls

“Cecilia Bowen,” I murmur to him just as he freezes before me. “I want you to remember her name while we’re in here together so that you know what you’re paying for. The final decision in ending your life was thinking you could come into mine and fuck with what’s mine. Remember—Her—Name.”

I check out after that. I don’t know where my sanity begins, and his existence ends. All I see is red. Blood fills my vision and marks my hands, and I lose myself in the sweet violence of his screams, reminding me I was made for this.

I sway on my feet as I walk inside my home, forcing myself to focus through the drunken haze in my head. I may have overdrank after our festivities tonight, and Stef had to see me home, which was slightly humiliating, but I found I didn’t care much because there was nothing to care about without Cecilia here.

I missed her so badly. This was the first time I’ve had to come home without her being here since she’s moved in, and I fuckinghated it. I wanted her back. I wanted her home, with me, where she belongs. Nothing else mattered. I just needed to sober up a little bit before I could make that happen or, rather, figure out how I could make that happen.

I walk further into my dark foyer when the lights suddenly flick on. My eyes squint under the sudden brightness until they relax, and then my gaze settles on Cecilia, standing just in the living room doorway that connects to the foyer.

She was dressed in light green fuzzy slippers and had a thin, dark purple robe wrapped around her nearly down to her ankles.

She wasn’t dressed. She wasn’t dressed as if she were staying here.

I stood straighter in an attempt to appear more put together. I knew I didn’t look it, though. My hair was in disarray, and my shirt was unbuttoned. Whiskey and blood stains darkened the black of the shirt. Obviously, I couldn’t see my own eyes, but they felt hazy like I was looking through a foggy glass window, so I suspected they looked as much.

“Celilia,” I mutter.

“Cecilia,” she corrects me with a small hint of amusement. Her voice sounded like heaven, and I walked to her until I stood just in front of her. Then I fall to my knees, staring up at her like she was a goddess created personally for me to worship.

“Forgive me,” I murmur. “For all that I’ve done. Please. I don’t know how to cope with the possibility that you could ever be taken from me, but from now on, I will love you like you need. I swear.”

She smiles down at me, her eyes glistening with tears that make them look like crystal blue orbs. She was breathtaking. She holds both sides of my face with her hands, and it warms me in a way that whiskey never ever could.

She drops onto her knees in front of me and pulls me toward her, kissing me softly. “I’m sorry, too,” she whispers, surprisingme. “I’ve been so wrapped up in what I needed that I didn’t stop to realize that you might be struggling and needed some strength from me.”

“That’s not?—”

She cuts me off with another kiss, and my chest physically burns at the feeling. “I love you, and I’m going to be better for you.”

I grin onto her lips. “We’re going to be better for each other.”

“Good,” she whispers onto my lips. “Because your bed is much more comfortable than mine.”

I chuckle and kiss her more savagely, knocking her onto her back on the floor. She laughs as I climb over top of her, dominating her completely now as I shower her with kisses. There wasn’t a spot of her that I didn’t want to miss. I wanted to cherish every square inch of her.

“Why don’t we go up to said bed then?” I suggest.

“You need a shower. You smell like a bar bathroom and…is that…blood on your shirt?”

“I apologize,” I mutter. “It’s hard not being in your attention, babe. I didn’t handle it maturely.” I think back to how I left Dante on the floor with a gut blade embedded in his spine.

She sighs, rolling her eyes. “And yet they say women are too emotional and men should rule the world.”

“I’d love to see you rule the world. You’d beseech everyone for your sweetness and guidance.”

She tries and fails to suppress her laugh. “You’re an awfully charming drunk, did you know that?”

“If it pleases you, allow me to get belligerent every night.”

“Okay.” She chuckles again, climbing to her feet and pulling me up. “I think tonight’s enough. Let’s get you in the shower.”

“Whatever you demand, I shall obey.”

Her eyes widen as her smile does. She was clearly amused, and I liked making her that way. “I like the sound of that,” she quips as I let her help me up the stairs.

I sat on the bed while she turned the shower on. Then she comes back out and pulls me into the bathroom, but when I think she will stay in there with me, possibly help me undress and wash me, she doesn’t. She looks me up and down, shoots me a small, shy smile, and then shuts the bathroom door with her on the other side. I didn’t want to be away from her any longer than I had, which, let’s face it, wasn’t even an entire day, but still, I made haste to strip out of my clothes and hurry into the shower.

When I leave the bathroom, she’s lying back in bed, reading a book on her lap. Her eyes find mine over the book, and I notice how her expression seems to come alive. Knowing that I had the same effect on her as she did on me settles something deep inside me. It made everything I’ve ever done in the name of our love worth it.

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