Page 155 of As the World Falls

I think I knew there was some unrelentless force inside me that always handled things like this. It’s just what I know. But the biggest thing for me was knowing I’d have James this time—the man I loved and trusted. I knew I’d handle it because I had him, and when I had him, everything would always be okay in the end.

So why did I feel like an asshole suddenly? Maybe it’s because even though I had several experiences dealing with this kind of stuff, James didn’t, and I gave him no grace in how he chose to cope with it.

Damn it.

Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.

Chapter Forty-Five

James

Coldness never bothered me. I always thrived in it. This was the first looming winter where my feelings matched the brisk temperature, and I hated every second of it. My pain feels as if it’s radiating onto the outside now for everyone to see because when I walk into the bar that I haven’t set foot in nearly five years, everyone looks at me as if I’m a mythical creature, capable of murdering them all with a blink of my eyes.

Let’s be real, I was.

Luccio’s was a hole-in-the-wall bar that only close families frequented. If you weren’t a part of said families, then you didn’t know about it. It wasn’t exactly open to the public. It was more of a hang-out spot for everyone to relax and take the edge off after their days of work, as well as a location for said work meetings to take place.

I didn’t even want to be here. I wasn’t a part of this life anymore and didn’t want to be. I kept getting sucked back into it no matter how much I tried to stay away. Most of the people here didn’t want me here either. I wasn’t blood or even fucking Italian, for that matter, so therefore, I was no one in theireyes, which was fine with me. I didn’t fucking care about their opinions. I was only here because Stef asked me to be, and like always, I showed up for him because that’s what brothers do. It took a lot of… aggressive convincing… per se for Stef to bring me into this family and to be treated as such. Not a single other person was on board, but he made it his priority that I was made alongside him. Except not long after it happened, I wanted out, which earned me even more of the family's disrespect.

At the end of the day, I was never meant to be here, but that notion keeps getting lost on me the more life brings me back and makes it my business.

I bypass the judgmental glares as I walk deeper into the bar and find Stef sitting in a round booth in the back corner with a cigar hanging out his mouth as he taps his drink glass with two fingers.

I slide across from him, and his eyes lock with mine the second I meet them. “What am I doing here?” I ask, annoyed.

“Don’t act like you don’t love it,” he scoffs, lifting his glass and taking a drink.

“I’m not in the mood for this shit. I’d rather be back home, so again, what am I doing here?”

“I have a surprise for you,” he gleams viciously. “Thought it would cheer you up some.”

I sigh heavily. “If it involves all of this, I want nothing to do with it,” I say, waving my hand to the atmosphere around us. “Enough damage has been done.”

“Why don’t you see what it is before you decide,” he suggests, standing from the booth now. He looks down at me and fixes me with a malicious grin while tilting his head for me to follow him to the back of the bar.

I knew what was back there. It was an empty concrete room perfect for dealing with any business gone wrong. I just didn’t understand why he wanted me back there so badly.

Curiosity gets the best of me, and I have nothing better to do since nothing waits for me back home, so I stand up and follow him to the back.

His smirk grows into one of distaste the closer we get to the backroom, and as he grabs the knob to open the door, he’s morphed into someone completely different. He’s dark and clouded with violent vengeance that I recognize all too well— much like my own.

He opens the door, and I come face to face with Dante Amato, who is tied to a single chair directly in the center of the room. He looked disgruntled, his shirt torn and hanging off his chest. His face and body were drenched in sweat and remnants of blood that I assume came from the fight to get here. His dark curly hair glistened under the single bulb light above his head, and his expression was wrinkled in a mixture of pain and disgust.

His mouth curls into a scowl when he lifts his head, watching Stef and I walk into the room, staring at him like he was a prized cow, ready for slaughter.

I turn and glance at Stef, who is stopped at a small table in the back corner of the room, opening his kit. “I thought he was in hiding,” I ask, thinking back to the information he gave me shortly after everything went to hell.

“That’s what’s so fun about it,” Stef chimes, pulling a long blade from his open case. “When they get scared, they get sloppy. It didn’t take long for me to catch him on the run.” He walks behind Dante and towers over him, staring at his face from behind. “Isn’t that right, Amato?”

“I’ll fucking end you,” Dante growls, ripping at his restraints.

I snicker just as Stef does. “Confidant for a man tied to a chair, isn’t he?” Stef muses.

“Very,” I agree, walking forward, feeling charged with a sudden determination. My hate grows inside me as I look at theman who brought downfall into my life—Into Cecilia’s. He is the very reason Chuck, Hodge, and even Lance had access to all the means to hurt her. I could give a fuck less about me but her…

“What do you think?” Stef asks. “Should we keep him tied up or let him loose, have some fun with it?”

I roll up both sleeves as I walk over to Stef’s kit, pondering my decision. I slowly slide a gut hook blade from inside and grip it tightly in my hand. “As a matter of fact, I could use some fun right now,” I tell him. Stef grins as his blade swipes through Dante’s restraints, releasing him. He tries to make a run for it the second he’s free, but I cut to the door before he makes it, shutting and locking all three of us inside.

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