Page 46 of Devotion

“Fucking hell,” I pant, grabbing a handful of long hair I’m envisioning as Layla’s soft, dark tresses moving through my fingers. I wind it in my fist, pulling her head back, locking her in place as I drive into her, making tiny breaths puff from her lips.

“Oh, fuck! I’m coming,” Aria whimpers, but I only hear Layla’s voice, only feelhertight pussy pulsating around me as cum pumps from my cock and into the condom.

She doesn’t move. The only sign of life is her legs quivering against mine. She breathes deeply when I pull out of her, and I’m trying like hell to hold onto the illusion. But as my eyes fall open, and Aria’s bright hair comes into focus, I’m snapped back to reality.

Aria glances at me from over her shoulder as I step back, but I avert my eyes, realizing just how broken I really am these days. There was once a time that I would eagerly take several lovers within the flock in one night. But now, I’m convinced I wouldn’t have even been able to get hard had it not been for what took place earlier—touching Layla beneath that table, feeling her clench around my fingers as I brought her pleasure.

“Would you like for me to clean you up?” Aria asks, lowering her dress as she faces me. Her hand stretches this way, and I hold mine into the air, stopping her.

“Please. Just go,” I say, and I evensoundbroken, like a shell of the man I’ve become. All because one woman has rendered me nearly useless as my craving for her grows by the second.

“I didn’t mean to upset you. I just—”

“Aria, get the fuck out!”

My voice sounds louder in this small, insulated space, and she cowers away, fear present in her eyes.

“Very well then.” She speaks just above a whisper, showing respect, but she’s unable to conceal that anger has begun to rear its ugly head, too. She snatches a small satchel from a nearby shelf, pulls it over her shoulder, and then slams the door on her way out.

I spill my cum into a bag of soil leaned against the wall, and then toss the empty condom into the trash before covering it. Not leaving my DNA handy for Aria or anyone else to get their hands on, it brings me some small measure of comfort as I zip my pants. For a brief moment, I’m able to pretend, able to remain calm, but it feels like I’ll explode as a surge of anger powers through me.

“Fuck!”

A dozen or more empty clay pots fly into the wall when I swipe my arm across the table. My vision blurs, and I close my eyes, knowing I can’t keep going like this. Between curbing my bloodlustandcarnal lust… I’m beginning to feel unhinged. And despite just having released some of that with Aria, it’s only a matter of time before I go from bad to worse.

And if I go dark, if I lose myself completely, God help anyone trapped within the blast radius.

17

Layla

It’s been more than forty-eight hours, and Damien’s touch still lingers.

The touch of a bad man, a killer, a man obsessed.

Today is the least productive I’ve been in a long time, and as I sit at my desk, cataloging crime scene images, I have to remind myself not to zone out fantasizing again.

Focus.

He’s everything you should hate.

Everything you should fear.

I’ve repeated these words to myself several times, and yet, I’m currently getting wet at the thought of him.

My eyes shift to the clock, counting down the minutes until I can shut down my computer and hit the road. Dove texted the address to the lounge where I’ll meet her and the girls for cocktails after work, and I can definitely use a drink.

The sound of chatter, and then laughter, steals my focus. I glance left, only to catch Martinez in a huddle with Stevens, Mack, and a few other officers. Their eyes are on me, but then quickly flash away, which isn’t obvious at all.

They were talking about me.

Or at leasthewas talking about me, and the others… were laughing.

My mind and heart both race as I consider what he might be saying, what intimate details aboutmeorushe could possibly share. It’s been tough enough earning their respect, and now I’ll have to contend with Martinez.

A bitch scorned.

My attention is officially shot for the day, so I power down a few minutes early, and then grab my things. On my way to the exit, I side-eye the group in the corner, still gossiping like teenage girls. There isn’t much I can do but ignore it, so I suppose I’ll have to learn to tune their shit out until the buzz dies down.

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