Good to know I wasn’t the only one.
“I pulled away from my dad and came right out to find you.”
Pulled away … I assumed she meant she somehow managed to break rank again, resisting the inclination to submit when an alpha pushed.
“When they described what happened, I assumed you’d gone dark again.”
I smiled at the cutesy little way she put that, like megoing darkdidn’t have sinister implications.
“I appreciate your concern, but these woods aren’t safe anymore. I told you about the mutts and—”
“Which is why I came,” she cut in, missing the point I was trying to make.
I breathed deep, glancing around, wishing I had the answers.
“Why didn’t you tell me the episodes started again?” Her voice was soft, sympathetic.
The back of my head rested against the bark while I thought of the right words. When I found them, I answered.
“Because I didn’t want you to be as disappointed as I was. Because I didn’t want you to lose hope that I was getting better.”
She was quiet and I didn’t blame her.
There was something seriously wrong with me, and just when I thought things were beginning to turn around,thishappened.
“You scared us all pretty bad,” she added in that same somber tone.
I nodded, despite her not having a clear visual of me. Truth was, I scared myself sometimes, too.
“They stopped for a while. The blackouts,” she clarified. “Do you think they’re back because you had to kill again?”
I considered that. The venture north to help Evie retrieve Liam may have been a setback, but I still felt like my other theory was a better fit.
“Nick?”
I glanced up when she said my name, focusing on the moon and stars when I chose to let her inside my head.
“I think it might be a lot of things,” I shared. “But, most of all, I think it’s you.”
She said nothing.
“Well … I think it’s alackof you,” I clarified.
A soft chuckle brought a smile to my face.
“Thisis new,” she teased. “When’d you come up with it?”
“Mmm … around the time I had to climb down from my grandfather’s roof and had no idea how I got there.”
Somehow, despite it not being a laughing matter, we laughed anyway.
I glanced left when five thin fingers wiggled beside me. I latched onto her hand, feeling relief the second we made contact.
“If I could hug you right now, I would,” she sighed. “You’re not alone in this. You could have told me.”
I knew this before she even said it, but my original statement still held. There was this huge part of me that was dead-set against disappointing her. Inanycapacity.
“Tell you what, next time—if thereisa next time—I’ll say something.”