Page 72 of Something Borrowed

He sounds both patronising and incredulous. It’s not a good mix. And I know I’m right. He’s used Raff’s fear of commitment to try to separate us as friends.

“I’m not being ridiculous. You are.” The simple statement seems to stall him for a second, and I continue in a softer voice. “Marriage is about loving someone enough to spend your life with them, and I’m sorry, but I don’t feel that way about you.” I hesitate. “And you don’t feel that way about me.”

“So, you really won’t marry me?” He sounds incredulous.

“No, I’m sorry.”

“It’s because ofhim, isn’t it?” His voice is poisonous. “This is all Rafferty’s fucking fault.”

“Leave him out of this.” I pause to take a steadying breath and then say in a rush, “I can’t marry you and I don’t think we should even be together.”

“You’re dumping me when we just gotengaged?”

“We didn’t get engaged,” I say with gritted teeth.

There’s a long pause. “You’re really finishing it? Withme?”

“Yes, I’m sorry.” I hesitate. “I’ll tell everyone. Don’t worry about doing that.”

“No!”

I cock my head at the abrupt note in his voice. “No?”

“I mean, could we possibly delay telling everyone?”

“Until when?” I ask cautiously.

There are a few uncomfortable beats of silence before he speaks. “Until after Richard’s wedding is over. I work with a lot of those people out there, and I can’t face them if they know we’re not engaged.”

I hesitate. I feel so guilty that this has happened. If I hadn’t been trying to get over Raff I’d never have gone out with Bennett. This is my fault. “So, you want to what? Pretend we’re engaged?”

“Yes,” he says eagerly. “Would that be okay? Just until after the wedding, and then you can tell people.”

There’s a note in his voice that I can’t work out, and unbidden, my sister’s warning about him floats across my brain. She’d said that he doesn’t like to lose and had been very spitefulto his ex when they split up. I push that thought away. If this pretence means we can get through Leo and Richard’s special day without drawing attention to ourselves and then split nicely, it might be a good move.

I sigh. “Fine. Let’s not add any more excitement to my friends’ wedding. We’ve already attainedDynastylevels of drama as it is.”

Chapter

Nine

Rafferty

Rain fallsoutside the window of Confetti Hitched. I watch drops slide down the pane while beyond the glass, shoppers unfurl bright umbrellas or make dashes for the protection of shop doorways. I track the progress of one raindrop, aware of the hum of conversation behind me, the photocopier's whirr, and the phone's constant ringing. The chaos is warmly familiar to me, and I usually savour it. My workplace is like my home, but I’m not in the mood today.

I hardly slept last night, my mind racing, and now my eyes feel scratchy and tired. I can’t stop seeing the image of Bennett and Stan in the middle of the crowd of people congratulating them. I think of the moment that Stan first told me about meeting Bennett. It was when we’d been sleeping together for a couple of months, and the memory is still painful enough to make me wince. It was when everything went wrong…

“Raff, are you busy?”

I look up from the kitchen table where I’m trying to organise my diary. Pieces of paper are spread everywhere, and there are more sticky notes on the wooden surface than anything WH Smiths could rustle up.

“Not for you,” I say, smiling at him as he traces his hand over the chair back before he settles into the chair opposite me. “Never for you.”

“What are you doing?”

“Ah.” I turn a piece of paper over that’s filled with dates in my scrawling handwriting. “I think I’m double booked for a couple of weddings, so unless we can perfect cloning me in the next twenty-four hours, then I’m in deep shit with Jed tomorrow.”

“When aren’t you?”

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