Page 96 of Love Me Reckless

Ava squeezes my hand. “That’s okay.”

“There’s one more thing in there,” Sofie says, arching an eyebrow.

I dive back into the tissue. At the bottom of the box is a beat-up silver flask.Something old.

“You could probably fit it in the garter belt,” Sofie says with a laugh.

I unscrew the cap and take a sniff. “What’s in here?”

“Old Montana Redeye,” Sofie says. “Also known as liquid courage.”

I take a small sip. The liquor burns my throat, making me cough. But if I drank more of it, would I feel less?

That I’m tempted brings on a sense of dread. Swiftly, I pass the flask to Ava. “Your turn.”

While she and Sofie take turns, I unwrap the second box. Inside is a simple cream silk chemise and matching thong. It’s classy and elegant, the silk cool and buttery to the touch.

“This is from Luxe and Lush, isn’t it?” Memories from that weekend flood my mind. I wish I could rewind time and live it over again. Just once. The dancing and crazy to-do list, laughing with my friends, being brave. Being myself.

“Keep going.”

There’s a little pouch at the bottom of the box. “Seriously this is too much.”

Ava looks ready to burst. “Are you kidding? This is your big day.”

I slide the pouch’s contents into my palm. It’s a beaded pearl bracelet interspersed with three sculpted silver beads, with a push clasp.

“Something new.” Ava grins.

“It’s beautiful,” I say. “Thank you!”

I set the box aside and jump up to hug my friends.

“And don’t worry, they’re freshwater pearls, and the company recycles,” Ava says, squeezing me tight.

“And the silk comes from a sustainable operation in Canada,” Sofie says.

I hold onto her as emotions I don’t understand form a thick knot in my throat. I feel like a frog with clogged gills. “You guys are so… thoughtful.” The word catches. I try to suck in a cooling breath but a sob shudders loose.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Sofie says, gently rubbing my back.

“Did we make you sad?” Ava’s voice is so kind.

I focus on the love from my friends but my eyes start to sting. “I just love you guys so much.”

“Aw, we love you too!” Sofie says.

“I’m going to ruin my makeup,” I say, and try blinking hard at the wall.

“It’s your wedding day,” Ava says. “You’re allowed to cry.”

A tear trickles down my cheek.

Ava scoops up the hankie she gave me, and I break from Sofie’s embrace to dab my eyes. “I’m okay,” I say, mostly for my own benefit.

There’s a soft rap on the door, then Cassie, the events coordinator, pops her head in. “Time to get dressed, ladies. You need my help?”

I’ve turned away so she doesn’t see me crying.

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