Page 88 of Love Me Reckless

“No.” My squeaky tone must give me away because Sofie’s eyes turn serious.

“All aboard,” Henry calls out, his weathered cheeks rosy from the cold.

The sleigh has three rows of bench seating. Zach, Sofie, and William choose the front, so I climb into the middle one.

When I reach for the handle, Sawyer steps into the sleigh from the other side. Heat flickers behind my breastbone. My mittened hand slips on the slick wood, and I lose my balance.

Sawyer lunges, grabbing my hands and pulling me into the sleigh. I crash into his chest, and he wraps his arms around me. Prickly adrenaline spikes inside me. I’m breathing fast and my face feels hot. Is it my near-catastrophic tumble or because I’m so close to him?

His cedar scent I remember from that night warms me from the inside out. My side gives a little throb, and I step back.

“Does it still hurt?” he asks in a low tone, his eyes troubled.

I know he means the little bird healing her way to beautiful on my side, but my heart swallows this whole. “I think it always will.”

He grimaces.

Ava and Hutch climb into our row, boxing me between them and Sawyer. I could switch with Ava, but I don’t want to separate her and Hutch.

Ava introduces Hutch, and he and Sawyer shake hands. The flicker of animosity I noticed earlier in Sawyer’s eyes has softened, but his guard is up. Is it because of me? Hutch spreads the blanketover our laps while behind us, Carson, Tara, Jesse, and Neve laugh at a story Carson is telling.

My thigh warms from the contact with Sawyer’s, bringing back the memory of straddling his lap. It’s what I think about at night when I’m alone. His rough hands on my skin. His hungry kisses on my lips. The way our bodies seemed perfectly in tune.

I know I should stop because it hurts, like something inside me is broken, but I can’t.

Up front, Henry and Barb cuddle close. “Ready back there?” Henry calls over his shoulder.

“Ready!” Sofie cheers from the front.

Henry gives a command and the sled lurches forward. A cry of surprise rings out from the passengers, but the ride turns smooth as the sleigh’s runners start to glide.

The trail follows a wide path through tall pines for a short ways to the river, where the cobbles and boulders covered in snow look like giant white gumdrops. Steam rises from the water flowing through the center of the channel, even though the water’s frigid. On the opposite bank, tidy homes are tucked into the trees, some with chimney smoke curling into the blue sky.

“Did you have a nice Christmas?” I ask Sawyer to cut the awkward silence.

“Yeah. Really nice.” He sends me a quick sideways glance, almost like he’s afraid to look at me for too long. “You?”

While there were lovely dinners and thoughtful gifts and Christmas cheer, the only thing that felt good was handing over the books Sofie and I wrapped for the Get Lit Giftaway.

“Yes.”

“Sofie said you went to China,” Sawyer says. “What was that like?”

“Busy,” I reply. And lonely. Is that how my life will be? I remember what I shared with Sawyer outside the Rose Lake tattoo shop. Am I doomed to feel alone no matter what I choose?

Sawyer’s watching me with a serious look, like he expects more,but I’m done sharing. “Now that I’m back, I’ve been spending time with Grandma Dora.”

He arches an eyebrow. “She talk any sense into you?”

Prickles erupt on my neck. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Henry steers the sleigh onto the wide bridge, the horse’s hooves echoing on the sturdy wood.

“Why do you let him treat you like that?”

I clench my fingers into fists inside my gloves. “Birch could get you fired.”

Sawyer scoffs. “That’swhat you’re worried about?”

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