Page 85 of Love Me Reckless

“Nobody,” I say quickly, and slip under the covers.

“I’d like you to accompany me to Gansu Province Friday,” he says. “We’ll get to spend some time together, and I can show you the biggest renewable energy project in the world.”

Alarm bells blare in the back of my mind. “How long will we be gone?”

“Eight days.”

“But that’s?—”

“We’ll be home in time for Christmas.” He snaps off the light.

I stare at the wall, my emotions churning inside me. Going to China so close to Christmas feels wrong. I’ll miss seeing my friends. I’ll miss the torchlight parade on the solstice. I’ll miss wrapping presents with Grayson. I’ll miss my next ski date with Sawyer.

Then I get it—that’s the whole point. Birch’s message is clear.You belong to me.

“Grandma!”I squeal as her car pulls to a stop outside my parent’s house. Though I’m operating on two hours of sleep thanks to flight delays during our return from China yesterday, I’m not about to miss Grandma’s arrival. The instant she jumps out of the car, I tackle her with a huge hug.

She cackles with delight and squeezes me so hard I squeak. “How’s my darling Kirilee?”

“Still a little jetlagged, but I’m so happy you’re finally here.” I take her hands and drink her in, all five-foot-four of her. Her eyes arethe same green as mine and Dad’s, and though her hair has gone a dove-grey, her freckles outnumber mine.

She squeezes my hands. “I want to hear all about your trip.”

To make my life seem even more surreal, while we were gone, Birch had all of my personal things moved to Grayhawk. Someone even unpacked my clothes. My jewelry. The pictures of me with my friends that I keep on my bedside table and in my bathroom are supposedly in a box, but I haven’t found them. I’m also still looking for the poster Ava and Sofie made from pictures taken in Darby.

I rattle off a series of anecdotes to Grandma Dora as we walk up to the house. The wonderful hospitality, the busy cities, the fascinating food options, and the lively culture. Though Birch spent most of the trip in meetings, Grandma doesn’t seem to notice that I’ve left him out of my stories. The one event we attended together was the wind and solar energy facility tour at the edge of the Gobi Desert, a place so barren and sad that I hope I never have to go there again. Because Birch speaks Mandarin, I don’t even know what the meeting was about.

By the time Grandma Dora reaches the top of the stairway, she’s breathing hard. “This altitude… oof.”

“You want to rest for a while? Dinner’s not until six.”

She waves me off.

Inside the house, Christmas music plays and it smells of sweet cranberry and pine, with the murmur of conversation filtering in from the living room. Our tree fills the entryway, extending to almost the second-story landing.

“My, that’s a big tree. Jeffers cut this one himself?” She leans back to take it all in.

I flash her a smile and she winks. Dad hasn’t cut a tree in his life.

“Grams!” Grayson cheers, hurrying from the living room. He wraps Grandma Dora in a soft hug. “So good to see you.”

“You aren’t at work?” she asks, unwrapping her scarf and slipping off her coat.

Grayson and I share a look. He called me a few hours ago, frustratedafter another pointless meeting with Dad, so I convinced him to take the rest of the day off.

“And miss your arrival?” he replies while I hang up Grandma’s things.

“You’re just trying to butter me up.” She waggles her finger. “But don’t worry, I plan to make plenty of English toffee for everyone.”

“Would you like your usual?” Grayson asks while we continue past our tree to the living room, where our parents, Birch, and his parents and grandparents are waiting to start the party.

Grandma gives Grayson her signature impish grin. “That would be lovely.”

Because of the time difference to New York, Grandma fades just after dessert. I’m not faring much better, so I offer to walk her upstairs.

Once we’re on the second floor and out of earshot, she loops her arm through mine and sighs. “How are you doing, sweetheart?”

Arriving home to Christmas in full swing, with all the festivities and time with my family to look forward to was a relief after the China trip, but I feel less and less like celebrating.

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