Page 72 of Love Me Dangerous

“Not everyone needs helping,” he says on his way past me again.

“That’s true.”

He squints up at me. “Does that get to you?”

This is the second time he’s asked a question like this. It’s as if he’s trying to find the shortcut to what’s underneath my words. Like he yearns for understanding. Before that kiss in my kitchen, he told me he cares, but I wasn’t ready to believe him. Is this the proof I was looking for?

“I hate seeing someone suffer,” I say. “Especially when there are tools and resources that could help.”

“Did this start with your brother?”

I smooth my palms down my thighs, thinking this over. “Probably.”

“Some problems aren’t easily fixed.”

This is sounding personal, and I don’t want to do anything to spook him from saying more, so I nod. “Most of them aren’t.”

“How old were you when your mom left?” Zach asks.

I’m not shocked he knows this—it’s legendary Finn River lore—and though I’m curious how he found out, I’m more interested in why he wanted to. “Fifteen.”

Zach keeps walking, but his jaw is set, and his grip on the rope turns his knuckles white.

“When you told me about Jesse wanting to move to L.A., is your mom part of that plan?”

The weight of this drastic shift in my life feels incredibly heavy—though maybe it’s a little bit easier in this moment.

“Yeah,” I say on an exhale.

Zach stops in front of me, with Galaxy huffing softly, his ears relaxed. “That must hurt after what she did.”

Moving slowly so I don’t spook either of them, I slide down to the ground. After I let Galaxy sniff my hand, I give his forelock a rub, his thick, coarse mane slipping through my fingers. His bones feel too close to the skin, so I keep my strokes gentle.

“I wish it didn’t.” It comes out sounding wistful, which makes me wince. “I don’t want to disrespect her. She stuck it out for as long as she could.”

A dark look passes through Zach’s eyes. “You make it sound like caring for her family was some sort of sentence.”

“I guess I’m saying she tried.” Memories of our last argument flash through my mind, but I shake them off with a deep sigh. “We certainly didn’t make it easy.”

He scoffs. “Don’t for one second think her leaving is your fault.”

While this is very kind and, no doubt, heartfelt, Zach wasn’t there. He didn’t witness the battles Mom and I had, and her warning that I was headed for trouble. In a way, she was right, and I hate that more than anything. “She and I were having some, uh, challenges. Jesse was cutting school. And Dad’s job was intense that fall.”

“All the more reason to be there,” Zach says, his voice tense. “Instead, she leaves when it sounds like you all needed her most.”

I remember what Ava said—that it’s all in the past, that I can be free of it now.

“This is why college is on hold?” Zach asks when I don’t answer, as if he senses the turbulence in my thoughts.

“I couldn’t leave my family, so I took all of the classes I could online and at Bitterroot Community College, but the rest needs to wait until I can enroll full-time at Western.”

“So you’re putting everything off for them.”

“It was my choice.” I kiss the white star on Galaxy’s nose.

The tension behind Zach’s eyes tells me he’s weighing his words, like he’s fighting the instinct to dig deeper. “I never went to college.”

I love that he’s offered me something of himself in this moment. “Do you want to?”

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