Page 60 of Love Me Dangerous

“Nursing an injured hero back to health will do that to a girl.”

I throw my wad of paper towels at her, but it falls pathetically short.

“Come on, when was your last orgasm?”

“Shhhh!” I say, then clap my hand over my mouth to keep my giggles under wraps. “The last thing I need is the shop guys pranking me with porn clips.”

She laughs, her eyes twinkling. “Well?”

If I don’t give her an answer, she’ll be like a dog on a bone. “Partnered or solo?”

“Partnered. Duh.”

“New Year’s Eve. Though technically, there was only one of us who reached the finish line, and it wasn’t me.”

She crosses her arms. “Gabe?”

“We both ended up in the media room alone, and I don’t know, it just sort of happened.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I just wanted to forget it.”

“Why?” Her expression turns fierce. “Did he hurt you?”

The truth is hard to explain. “No.”

“So, same old, same selfish?”

I nod. “I just wanted to be done with him, you know? We had broken up and I was finally feeling good about myself.”

“You don’t need him to feel good about yourself.” Ava walks over, looking determined. “You don’t need anyone for that.”

She’s talking about my mom and the fights we had that fall before she left. I wanted to get on birth control, but instead of granting her permission, she laid into me.Careful, or you’ll end up like every other small-town girl who gets stuck in this valley.The implication was clear—stuck in this valley like her.

That Tyler—the reason for the birth control—shared details of my first time with his baseball teammates only nailed the spike of betrayal deeper into my soul.

“It’s just… that night is still hard, you know?” I say.

“Oh, honey.” She pulls me into a gentle hug. “It makes total sense.”

I give her a soft squeeze, then let her go and bend down to pick up my paper towel.

“If Zach’s kiss was that good, why not see what else he’s good at?”

“Would you quit it?” I send her a murderous glare, but I can’t hold it, and soon we’re both laughing.

It feels good to laugh about this, even though it’s not bringing me any closer to a plan. I wish I could just be carefree and hook up with a guy if I felt like it, but my history gets in the way. The irony isn’t lost on me—here I am studying psychology with the goal of working with kids someday—yet I haven’t been able to shake my own past.

“Just hear me out, okay?” Ava slides in the last toy bin. “All that bullshit from before… it’s over. You’re free to be your own person.”

I push in all of the little chairs so they’re lined up neatly. “Zach’s not staying in Finn River.”

“Maybe you could give him a reason to stick around.”

“You really think it’s okay?” Ava’s the only person I can ask this and get an honest answer.

Her eyes fill with compassion. “Hell yes. Don’t let anything hold you back from being your true amazing self.”

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