Page 58 of Sick Bargain

I’ve locked him in a bargain that will never free him. I’ve forced him to watch a girl die, and then scared him so hard he pissed himself. I raped him over her body. I burned his home and his vehicle. I stole his identification. I made him homeless and trapped him with me. I drugged him multiple times. I sexually assaulted him again. I tattooed him against his will. I forced him to show his body to me and ignored his sexuality. I hunted him through the streets of Moros on Initiation Night. I’ve secluded him and kept him from his family and friends. I turnedhim into a killer. A murderer. Then ditched him when he needed me because he’s developed some sort of attachment to me.

An attachment I refuse to believe is anything other than Stockholm syndrome.

I finish the soup without tasting it and push away the sandwich. Remiel is still eating, thinking, recalling our short history and trying to decide what he thinks of it.

“Eat that,” he tells me, nodding at the sandwich.

I raise my brows.

“Eat it. I know you don’t eat enough.”

I pick it up and rip a bite from the sandwich, shoving his in front of him as a demand for him to eat, too.

“It was the night you tattooed me,” he says, taking a small bite. “The night you showed me who you are. I started meshingthatyou withthisyou.”

That makes no sense, so I keep chewing.

“Keegan has been in my life since I was young. I’ve always been scared of you. I never really knew why, other than you being super intense. But now that I know you… fit somewhere, it puts me at ease or something. Keegan became Krypt,” he whispers, “and it…”

I wait.

“It suits you. Moros needs you.”

“But you don’t.” I didn’t mean to say that, and I look away as soon as I do.

“No, I don’t,” he agrees. “But we’re not acknowledging that I want you, so I’ll move on.” He takes another bite and chews slowly. “The reason I like that you became someone else and found where you fit is because it makes sense to me. I’ve never fit. And then I made a stupid and completely suicidal bargain with you, and you treated me like absolute shit.”

Where’s he going with this?

“And brought me to fucking life. You taught me to fight back. To bring forth my darker parts. To let them out because you can handle them. You scare the shit out of me, Keegan, but you make me feel more alive than I’ve ever been before. So, yeah, my morals are all messed up, but I still have them.”

“Just not when it comes to yourself. You’ll let me do anything to you, and that’s not fucking sane, Remiel.”

“Then I’m not sane.” There’s that crazed, almost manic edge to his eyes again, and I don’t like seeing it there. I want him sick and twisted, not internally dark and able to self-harm.

I lean forward, peering into his eyes, trying to decide if he has inner monsters, too. “What’s it gonna look like to you when I finally snap? After everything I’ve done, what’s cracking mean to you?”

Something entirely too dire passes through his gaze, making alarms go off inside me. “Am I important to you?” he asks.

I clench my jaw, distracted by something I should be noticing but am not.

He’s disappointed with my lack of answer, so he sighs. “I don’t know what it looks like when you snap, but here’s what it looks like when I do.” His smile is tepid but monstrous. “Guess we’ll find out what’s stronger. You or my curse.” He lifts his hand, holds up a single pill, and swallows it.

20

FAILURE

KRYPT

Everyone hasa moment in their life that changes them. That warps the trajectory of their path and sends them down a road they never meant to walk on.

This is mine.

Because Remiel is my path, and now he’s trying to force me down a different one. I won’t fucking let him. Because I missed the signs. For how raptly I pay attention to him, I confused his trip to damnation with his trip to a finite ending, and it all circles back to me. I left him last night, and now he’s leaving me tonight.

I’m good in a crisis, but… this is Remiel, and I’m choking on panic. Fear’s sharp claws drag through my insides, scorching me internally while I externally take in the scene.

I know what he swallowed. I even know where it came from. Because there’s only one man smart enough in Moros to make a pill for suicide, and he’s the only man I know to call for help.

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