Page 59 of Sick Bargain

“Krypt?” Director answers the phone while my hands shake. “Where are you? You’re supposed to be getting ready for this job at?—”

My voice jitters, my words coming out too fast. “How do I stop a suicide pill from working?” I stare at Remiel from across the table, refusing to turn into him from the night of Ophelia’sdeath. I won’t experience this second-hand like he did. I will turn back the fucking clock and stop the world from moving forward until Remiel is off death’s doorstep and back under my possessive control. He’s scared. I can tell he is, but he’s also unhinged and doesn’t regret it. “And how much time do I have?”

“You take it?”

“No. Answer me.”

“Not long. When was it taken?”

“A minute ago.”

“Get him to the asylum. Now. Where are you?”

“Cauldron.”

“Sending someone.”

I hang up and grab Remiel’s arm, hauling him from the table. When the server tries to tell me I haven’t paid, I fucking snarl at her and keep moving. He’s off-balance and fading fast, the pill zapping his energy and slowing his heart already. I can’t fade. I can’t spiral. I can’t fail him.

The Ambient Raven is too far up the street, and I don’t have time to walk him there to get my vehicle. Remiel’s legs start giving out, so I hold him up with one hand and pull a gun from the back of my pants with the other, pointing it at a pedestrian getting out of his car.

“Keys. Now.”

She locks up in fear, but another vehicle screeches to a halt on Death Row. “Get him in! Now!” Glitch yells, and Facts hops out of the passenger seat to open the back door for me.

I haul him into my arms, carrying Remiel, and climb in the back with him, his body already weakening. When Facts climbs in the back with me, I snap at him.

“Fuck off.”

“Open his mouth.” He opens a small vial. “Hurry!”

I prop Remiel’s head on my lap and force his mouth open, letting Facts pour black sludge down his throat. Remiel chokes,coughing some of it back out, so Facts slaps a hand over his mouth until he swallows. We’re speeding down Death Row towards the asylum when Remiel groans and chokes up more black liquid.

“He’s going to throw up,” Facts says. “White pill should stand out if his vomit is black.” Does he carry charcoal around on him in case something like this happens?

He does throw up, and the charcoal makes it foamy, but I don’t see a white pill. I don’t see it! And I’m panicking. I’ve never panicked a day in my life, but I don’t know how to stop this. I don’t know how to beat this curse and keep Remiel in my world.I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know.

I have a fear now. It’s losing Remiel Sauder.

“Fuck you, Remiel! Fuck you for being the worst hero!” I smack his face and he throws up all over my lap. “Fuck you!”

I try to hold him still to stop his shaking, but I blink when Facts touches me. I’m the one shaking, and I’ve never felt more helpless. Because Remiel is still now. His body isn’t moving, and he’s not throwing up. His eyes are rolled back, his eyelids open, and I shake harder.

“Remiel!” I scream in his face.

Because his six minutes were cut in half by that pill, but it’s me who is experiencing a highlight reel of all my regrets.

I should have paid more attention to him. I should have seen this coming when he acted differently today. I should have taken that mad sheen in his eyes more seriously, and I should have let my brother and Ghost help me. I should have treated him better, showed him how strong he is, proved to him he’s important to me so he never had to ask. I should have answered all his questions instead of goading him about what it means for me to snap.

Because this is it. I’ve snapped. If Remiel leaves this world without me, I will follow him all the way to the pits of Hell and stalk him there until he knows what punishment really is.

Because I got attached. I don’t know what love is, but I know what obsession is, and Remiel is the focus of my life. I’ve never had an obsession quite like him, and the loss of it feels too much. It’s impossible. It’s wrong. There’s no longer a Krypt if there isn’t a hero.

For how trained and experienced I am in emergent situations, my body is not reacting like it was taught to. I can’t catch a full breath, the shaking is unbearable, and the pressure filling every cell of my body is going to suffocate me in fear and loss.

I have something worth losing. I barely got to fucking grip it in my fist because fate took it away from me, and to mourn is to die. I’m dying with him.

“Remiel,” I beg. “Look at me! Focus on something. Don’t you fucking die.”

---