Page 49 of Violent Cravings

I place my hands on her shoulders, taking a deep breath as I try to calm the choking pain suffocating my chest.

It doesn't make a difference. I'm not going to see her again, I'm not going to fuck her again, I won't engage with her in any way after this is done. That was never the plan.

But I know that my thoughts have been drifting during the night with her. Ideas crawled into my head. Ideas so dumb and dangerous that I should be happy about not being able to follow through with any of them.

What if I didn't fuck her, but met her once in a while, as one would meet a friend? What if I learned to calm the overwhelming beast inside me and not let those cravings destroy me again without cutting her out of my life?

What stupid thoughts.

I need to remember who I am. I am not fucking boyfriend material. I don't sit around like a dumb idiot, sharing fucking love poems while having an innocent cup of coffee and holding hands. The idea is fucking ridiculous.

I should be glad that she's moving away. This will take matters out of my hand. It'll make it easier to go cold turkey once I'm done with her.

"On your knees," I whisper in her ear from behind, applying a gentle push on her shoulders. We still have a few hours together, and I should concentrate on that instead of dwelling on these stupid fantasies like a fucking sissy.

She follows my command, sitting down on her heels with her chest pushed out and her hands tied at the back. Her green eyes find their way up to mine when I position myself in front of her, my cock throbbing with anticipation as I look down at her.

"Let's make this count, doll."

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