Page 37 of Grump and Grumpier

“It doesn’t smell minor,” Derek says coldly, “and here you are having to deal with it, instead of doing actual work.”

“It won’t take long. I’ll get it taken care of.”

The men don’t look happy—what else is new?—but thankfully, they walk into the break room without another word.

I tell Owen I’ll be right back and head to thesupply closet for cleaner, then to the restroom, where I remember seeing a can of air freshener. When I return, there’s no sign of the CEO grumps, but Owen has moved all the furniture out of the vacant cubicle.

“The stain went way under the desk, all the way to the wall,” he explains, wincing.

“Oh no. Well, thank you very much for your help.” I recall that Owen didn’t even bring in a pet on Friday, so it’s not as if he’s acting out of a guilty conscience.

Nevertheless, he takes the bottle of cleaner from my hands. “I’ll get it. You’re dressed too nicely to be dealing with messes.” Still smiling, he casts an appreciative glance at my dress, the kind of glance that makes me wonder if he might be the person who gave me the dolphin figurine this morning.

“You don’t have to do that. I can get it.”

“Not a problem.” He sprays the floor thoroughly, and when he’s done, I follow up with the rose-scented air freshener. “I suppose we’ll need to let it air out,” he says. “Let me know when you’d like me to move the furniture back.”

“Thank you for your help. I really appreciate it.”

“Anytime, Ana.” After an extra beat of eye contact, he heads back to his desk, and I make apologies to people who sit in the area, assuring them I’ll have professional carpet cleaners in as soon as possible.

CHAPTER 29

ANA

Though I’m not a person who minds Mondays, this one is definitely testing my patience. A few hours after dealing with the carpet mess, I’m at my desk working when I hear someone complaining that their lunch was stolen. Typically, I don’t hear conversations taking place outside of my office, but the person is upset and speaking loudly nearby.

It turns out to be Evelyn, the receptionist I met the first time I came to the office. She’s standing at Jackie’s desk, gesturing broadly with her hands, and when she sees me, she turns and repeats her words.

“My husband and I went out for a very nice dinner last night—at Mosaic, have you heard of it? Very fancy restaurant, and I had a delicious meal, and all morning, I’ve been looking forward to eating my leftovers at lunch, but when I went in to heat themup, they weren’t there. This is the third time my food has been stolen, and it’s got to stop!”

“Did you have your name on it?”

“I did, though I shouldn’t have to, and obviously, it doesn’t even matter.”

“Is there a bag or anything left, or did they take everything?”

“They left my bag, but took everything inside it. Come on, I’ll show you.” Evelyn starts toward the break room, and I have no choice but to follow her down the aisle, across the office, and past the corner that still smells like rose-scented dog pee—the cleaners will come tonight after five.

She shows me her bag, points out exactly where it had been positioned inside the refrigerator, and makes sure I see the prominent label that marked the bag as hers. “Even if I can’t find out who’s doing this, I’m going to find a way to get revenge,” she says.

Her wording sends up alarms, and I realize I need to diffuse the situation. “What exactly do you have in mind?”

“Maybe a glitter bomb. I’ll rig up a trap, and the next time the thief opens my bag, they’ll get covered in bright pink glitter.”

After this morning, the thought of another mess has me cringing, though I do admire the woman’s creativity.

“That sounds a bit extreme. Maybe we can post anote on the refrigerator door, reminding people to only eat what’s theirs.”

Evelyn shakes her head, dismissing my idea. “How about installing a security camera? And if I can’t figure out the glitter explosion, I think I’ll make a sandwich that looks delicious but is actually filled with Carolina Reapers. That’ll teach ‘em.”

Remind me to call Evelyn if I ever decide I want to get revenge on someone.

“I’ll look into the camera idea, and in the meantime —”

I’m interrupted mid-sentence by the day’s second appearance of both Derek and Jansen. Why are they out and about again? Are they trying to meet a step count today, or something?

“Now what’s going on, Ana?” It’s Derek, sounding annoyed

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