Page 2 of Grump and Grumpier

“Human resource manager. I’m a generalist in my current position, as you’ll see from the description on my resume, and I have nearly four years of experience on top of my certifications.”

They each review my resume as I speak, Mr. Brooks perusing it casually, while Mr. Bennett scrutinizes it as if he’s looking for the stationery’s watermark.

The management position they advertised would be a big step up for me, and though I haven’t worked at that level yet, I know I’m ready.

Mr. Brooks asks about my current responsibilities, and I talk about both what I do, and why I’mready to take on more of a challenge. When the opportunity arises, I ask them what they’re looking for in an ideal candidate.

Mr. Brooks starts to speak—and did I mention that their voices are as deep and husky as I often imagine for the heroes in my favorite books?—but Mr. Bennett cuts him off. “Our HR staff have been hiring the wrong people. There’s too much turnover, and it’s costing us money.”

“I see. What are your onboarding and training programs like? Are there any issues there?”

Both CEOs seem at a loss, quickly glancing at each other before Mr. Brooks says, “Those programs aren’t the problem.”

His words are cold as ice, and it’s possible I may have offended him, but it’s so hard to tell. Also, it’s becoming crystal clear that I have a thing for grouchy men. I would have thought that maybe I only liked that type as a fictional character in books, but nope—these frowning men are turning me on more with each narrowing of their eyes.

My next question is delayed a bit because I get distracted by his mouth as he’s talking.What’s wrong with me? Get it together, Ana!

I ask about their staff size and their plans for growth, among other things, and I receive clipped answers in response. I’m pretty sure I’ve blown this interview, and that’s okay, because I’m alsoconvinced that these two men are more responsible for employee turnover than any deficiency in hiring or training. Who would possibly want to deal with their bad attitudes on a daily basis?

Me,scream my hormones, which are apparently holding a rave in my ovaries.

I counter their grumpiness with the kind of pleasantness that usually softens people, but it’s not working with these guys.

They ask a few more questions, and I answer politely, but I’ve already decided that working with them wouldn’t be worth leaving my current job. As impressive as Community Bean looks from the outside, it clearly has problems on the inside, and though addressing those problems could be a fun challenge, my efforts would be futile if the people at the top are the issue.

These men are borderline rude, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re stubborn, too. I’m pretty good at reading people, and they have “set in our ways” written all over their handsome faces.

Another reason why working for them would be a horrible idea is that I’d have to wear a blindfold and earplugs to keep from being in a constant state of horny arousal, like I’ve been ever since they walked in.

Just as the interview is winding down and I’m preparing to thank them and say my goodbyes, Mr.Bennett, who hasn’t done much talking, turns his beautiful smoky green eyes on me. “Tell us, Ana, are you a hard worker?”

The dance party inside me gets out of control and momentarily takes over my brain, because instead of describing my work ethic, my voice lowers to a purr, and I say, “Yes, Mr. Bennett. I like being worked hard.”

CHAPTER 2

ANA

Whoooops! How did that slip out?

This is why you shouldn’t read smut right before a job interview!

The energy in the room shifts immediately, and the men’s eyes narrow in a way that no longer reads as irritation.

Shit!They did not miss the double meaning in my response, and they’re not going to politely ignore it and let me save face.

They’re looking at me differently now, their focus drifting down to my lips then returning to my eyes with an intensity that nearly knocks me back in my chair, and I love it.

They still look grouchy, but more in a “you’ve been naughty and I need to turn you over my knee” kind of way—or am I just imagining that and projecting my own dirty thoughts onto them?

“I’m very dedicated, and always willing to go the extra mile,” I say, trying to pretend I didn’t just imagine both of them bending me over the table. Even though I don’t want to work for them, I also don’t want to completely ruin my professional reputation. I need to keep it together.

As stubborn as I suspected, they don’t let it drop. Elbows on the table, hands clasped under his chin, Mr. Brooks leans in. “Tell us more about how you like to be worked … hard.”

Okay, deep breath.This is my chance to redeem myself and get this interview back on track. “I’m a hard worker because I’m not afraid to lean in and get really hands on.”

One of Mr. Brooks’s brows arches, making me realize that didn’t sound much better. My brain is scrambled, but for some reason, I try again. “I’m not afraid to get down and dirty to get things done.”

Oh shit, oh shit!Quick as I can, I reach across the table and retrieve my resume copies. I can’t leave any trace of myself behind, because I need to pretend this never happened. “Thank you for your time. I’ll just show myself out. Have a good evening.”

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