Page 41 of Brazen Mistakes

“Fuck.” Walker scoops up the photo and marches from the room.

Closing my eyes, I try to capture some of the playfulness I felt earlier, but it’s ephemeral. Gone.

Weight settles on my lap, and I open my eyes to Jansen squatting next to the chair, my present from Emma on my thighs. “It’s not a solution, but maybe it’ll cheer you up?”

“I was just fucking cheerful. I’m so mad right now, Jansen. So furious. And I’m moving out of my room until this is fixed.”

Jansen grins. “You know my bed always has space for you. But we need something more permanent than bed hopping. Everyone needs a place for just themselves, even you, Clara.”

I open the box instead of answering.

Inside I find a pile of bottles: seven different flavored syrups. Dark chocolate, white chocolate, and caramel, Iexpect. What I don’t expect are the bottles labeled lavender, blood orange, rose, and hibiscus. At the bottom she’s left a piece of notebook paper. Opening it, I find her familiar round lettering, and a small piece of my anxiety settles at the normalcy.

To my best-est bestie Clara-

You’ve had a shit run of it. And I know it’s harder than you’ve told me. I know there’s more going on than you’ve shared.

I might hate it, but I get it. We all need secrets, at least for a little bit. A tiny piece of something special to hold close until we know it can survive being shared without it shattering.

So until you’re ready to let me know what’sreallygoing on, I want you to have all the sweet and interesting things you deserve.

I love you, no matter what’s going on or what you’re willing to share.

Emma

I’m choking back sobs, my stomach dropping. Jansen takes the box of syrups away from me, clutching both of my hands in his calloused ones. “Clara?”

“I hate lying to her. I hate it so much.”

Jansen’s green eyes glitter with shared tears. “I hate the lying, too. It gets easier the longer you do it, but in some ways, that’s worse.”

“I don’t want to hurt her. I need her. I can’t push her away, Jansen. She’s the only friend I have left, and she’s amazing. How can I keep her without putting her in danger, too?”

He doesn’t say anything. Maybe because sometimes, there isn’t an easy answer.

Chapter 16

Jansen

I’m coaxing Clara upstairs when Walker stomps out of Trips’ room, that awful picture in his hand. It wasn’t even scandalous this time, but that’s weirdly worse. The creep is just watching Clara sleep now? Disturbing.

But on the good side of things, Trips was there, cuddled up next to Clara, so that’s something. It’s at least a solid start.

Walker’s anger stalls out at Clara’s tears, rushing down the stairs and pulling her into a hug, even while she’s still got my hand in a death grip. “Princess, it’s not that bad. We knew he was going to send more. We’ll find some way to nail him, I promise,” he says.

She rubs her nose against his sweater. “It’s not that. Not entirely.”

I help her out. “Emma knows something’s up and is being really supportive.”

“And that’s…” hestarts, confused.

“Really hard because she has to lie to the one person who’s always been on her side.”

A sob wracks through her, and Walker scoops her up as I rush ahead to open my door, the three of us piling onto my tiny bed.

Moving her mass of curls out of the way, I rub her back, offering her some comfort and calm, even if one of those emotions I can only access after hours of meditating. Whatever I’ve got, I’ll give to her.

It takes a long time, but eventually she quiets down, lying so still I wonder if she’s passed out. I pop up and catch Walker’s eye, pantomiming sleeping and pointing at Clara, and Walker nods, sorrow blanketing his features.

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