Page 68 of Finding Our Reality

I smile widely, flashing my white teeth. “I can hold my own, Alec.” Setting my drink and purse on a shelf, I grab a cue and hand it to him, mentally buckling myself up for the night. I wouldn’t give Ry the satisfaction of climbing out of this car if it were on fire and careening off a cliff.

Two hours of flirting, smiling, laughing, and fake drinking have worn me out. Fortunately, Alec’s young—twenty-four—andhe’s horny. By nine, he’s pulling me into full body hugs and whispering in my ear.

It doesn’t feel like Ry. Ry’s whispers are hot and dry, sending shivers from my neck down to the base of my spine. Alec’s are loud and wet. They make me wanna clean my ears with a towel.

Alec kisses my cheek. “You wanna get out of here?”

About damn time. “Yes.”

“Let me use the restroom and say goodbye to the guys. I’ll meet you by the door.”

Stepping to the side, out of Ry’s piercing glare from his perch at the bar, I roll my shoulders and take several deep breaths. I’ve been holding my tension in check, and I’m about to explode. Sighing, I swing my purse around my shoulder and grab my tepid and smelly drink. Long Island Iced Teas smell even worse when they get hot.

Putting on a brave face, I make my way to the bar. Leaning across, I put my glass on the edge closest to Cullen. “Bye, C. See you later.”

He grabs my hand, nearly causing me to knock over the glass. “Seriously, Ella? You’re doing this again? Raylee is gonna flip out.”

“Then don’t tell her.”

Pulling from his grasp, I spin around and run smack dab into Ry. A very unhappy Ry. “What the hell, Lulu? You’re going home with that asshole?”

“He’s not an asshole. He’s actually a nice guy. And what I do is none of your concern.”

His eyes flash with anger, instantly coloring them five shades darker. “You’re always my concern. Always.”

The possessiveness in his voice makes my heart stop beating. I instantly reach around, running my fingertips across my scar. My voice is weak, almost invisible underneath the music pouringfrom the overhead speakers. “I shouldn’t be, though, should I? I shouldn’t be your concern.”

He takes a step closer, pressing his body to mine, trying to erase the distance between us. “Why are you doing this? You’re killing me. Luella Margaret Hill, you’re killing me.”

I lift my chin. My nose and lips graze against his cheek. He shivers, and it’s then that I tell him what he should already know. “It’s our anniversary.”

He leans backward, studying my face. “Huh? What are you talking about?” He knows it’s not the anniversary of when we met. He knows it’s not the anniversary of our first kiss. Not the first time we had sex.

“It’s our anniversary, Ryland Joseph Crutchfield. Exactly twelve years ago today, I received a letter telling me to hate you. So this is me, doing what you asked.”

His face instantly shatters into a million pieces. I should feel good, but I don’t. I feel just as shattered. But I couldn’t be the only one suffering here. He deserves to bear some of this.

Stepping around his massive frame, I head to the front door, gasping when Alec squeezes my waist. Laughing, he holds the door open for me. “Sorry about that, didn’t mean to scare you.”

I walk out into the warm air, unable to look back at Ry. “That’s fine.”

He points to the side of the building. “So, I’m parked right around the corner. Wanna ride with me?”

“Where do you live?”

He names a large apartment complex that’s about two miles away. I nod. “I know right where that is. It’s probably best if I drive. I have an early morning. Give me ten minutes, and I’ll meet you there. I drive a white sedan. What’s your apartment number?”

“34B. But I really don’t mind bringing you back to your car whenever you want. I can get up early. We can have breakfast together.”

Oh Alec, you’ll make someone very happy. That someone just isn’t me.

“That’s okay. Ten minutes.” I kiss him on the cheek and walk away.

Twenty minutes later, I’m lying in my bed, crying into my pillow. Alone.

Just the same feeling I’ve had every night for the past twelve years.

Chapter 23