Page 69 of Finding Our Reality

ELLA

My lungs burn as I glide through the pool, enjoying a peaceful swim as the sun hangs low in the sky, begging to slip below the earth and sleep. Water splashes over my head, grabbing my attention. I pop to the surface, immediately wiping the water from my eyes.

And wouldn’t you know it. There’s Ry.

Standing on the side, he spreads his arms open wide. A bouquet of orange roses is in one hand and a large, greasy white paper bag is in the other.

I swim to the edge of the pool so we can talk. I don’t have the strength to scream while treading water. “What are you doing?”

“So… I figured it’s time to make a new anniversary.”

“Really. And what’s that? ‘Breaking into Someone’s Back Yard’ Day?”

“I was hoping more for like ‘Please Don’t Hate Me’Day.”

Is this really happening? Is he trying to play coy and cute with something so serious?

Suddenly Holt’s voice screams from the patio. “Agree to it! He brought me a cheesesteak too. I’m freakin’ starving.”

“Trying to buy off my family now?”

“Is it working?”

I snort. “Holt’s a football player. He’ll do anything for food.”

Ry holds out the bag, and Holt races over to grab it. “I’ll set the outside table,” Holt says in excitement.

Once Holt’s out of earshot, Ry crouches down next to me. He’s wearing cargo shorts and they gape open, showing me thematerial of his black boxer briefs. “I’m sorry about yesterday. I’m sorry I didn’t remember what day it was.” He sighs, glancing around the backyard. “In all honesty, I’ve spent twelve years trying to forget the words I wrote in that letter.”

“Why? Did our time together mean so little to you that you can’t even bring yourself to have empathy for what I went through.”

He smirks, driving me mad. “Don’t play the stupid card with me, Lulu. You’re the smartest person I know. And you know that our time together was the best part of my life. Youweremylife—the reason I wanted to live and breathe and survive.” He reaches down in front of me, swirling water around his finger. “Breaking up with you was a mistake, and I’ve been fighting that shame. I’m tired of fighting it; I realize I’m not strong enough to win that battle. I honestly thought leaving was the best thing for you. I know you’ll never believe that, but it’s honestly what I thought. I had nothing to offer you, nothing to give you. I didn’t want you to derail your future because of me. Somewhere along the way I realized I took the coward’s way out. I’m so damn sorry. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I want you to know that I’m sorry. And I regret it every single second of every single day.”

“Are you guys coming or not?” Holt hollers. “If not, I’m gonna eat your fries.”

Ry chuckles. I can’t help but notice that he seems a little lighter. Like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders. He told me some of his truth. Plus, he apologized.

Maybe I would feel lighter if I told him some of my truth.

The full truth.

He reaches down with both hands, urging me out of the water. “I don’t know about you, but I’m hungry. And I really don’t wanna fight your cousin for my French fries.”

I push away from the side, getting ready to swim to the steps, when Ry reaches out and grabs my hands. I stare at him. “Whatare you doing? You can’t pull me out of the water. I’m too heavy, you’ll fall in.”

“I remember hauling you into my arms on many occasions,” Ry says with a playful wink.

“I was a teenager then,” I say.

He wraps his hands around my wrists, so my wet hands don’t slip from his, and pulls me from the water, like I’m light as a feather. Granted, I give myself a pretty good jump to help out, but still. My soaking wet body presses into his. The temperature change immediately causes my nipples to pebble and chill bumps break out across my skin. Ry’s eyes scan my body, absorbing every small detail of my one-piece blue bathing suit. The high-cut leg showcases the contrasting colors in my skin tone. I’ve been laying out in a different swimsuit so my tan lines are lower. He traces his finger up my left thigh, charting the course of my surgery scar. At least the neck on this one isn’t low cut, so he can’t see how badly my breasts are heaving from his touch.

I stutter across my words. “T…Towel.”

Ry grabs the large beach towel from the lounge chair and wraps it around me, rubbing his hands up and down my arms to warm me. His yellow T-shirt is soaked.

I nod at his chest. “I got you wet.”

He smiles softly. “I don’t mind.” Stooping, he picks up the bouquet of roses and grabs my hand, leading me over to the table, holding my hand like he used to. His calloused fingertips tickle my skin.

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