Page 48 of Finding Our Reality

“I was completely forthcoming on our very first date. I basically gave him my complete life story. I never expected to hear from him again. But he showed up at the restaurant the next day, asking me out again. A couple of months later, I came to work for him at the insurance company. He helped me get my boys out of foster care.”

She smiles at her husband. “The rest is history. We married. He adopted all three of my boys. They are sixteen, fifteen, and thirteen now. And we have a little girl. She just turned eight.”

She smiles at me, genuinely happy. “Everything I went through led me right to this place, Crutch. As crazy as it sounds, I wouldn’t change a thing.” She sighs in contentment. “I go to regular counseling sessions, twice a week. One by myself, and then we attend a family session, all of us. It was really important for me to give the boys a way to come to grips with all I put them through. I was a horrible mother for many years, and I wanted to give them a safe environment in which to discuss that. I didn’t want them to turn to drugs and alcohol like I did. I do outreach through our church, talking to others about addiction. In fact, I’m speaking at a juvenile detention center in South Alabama next week, giving my testimony.” Christina smiles, wiping the leftover tears from her eyes. “Once a month we have dinner with the foster parents who took my boys in when I was unfit. I’m even a classroom volunteer at my daughter’s school.Me. It’s all a dream come true.”

We end the interview with Christina, and I know that Lulu is reeling from all the information because she actually lets me open the truck door for her. She’s not in the mood to talk so we don’t. If quiet is what My Lulu needs, then quiet is what she can have.

We’re parked back at the station before she breaks the silence. “Why didn’t you tell me your parents were in jail?”

I shrug. “I didn’t know it was important. Didn’t think it mattered.”

She turns in her seat, facing me. “Are they still on drugs?”

“They were up until they got arrested. They’re in the city jail right now. They run a pretty tight ship over there so I can’t imagine they have access to any contraband substances. I know the nursing staff had to give them some medication to help with withdrawals.”

“And what about Trash? Obviously, he’s not supposed to drink or use drugs while on probation.”

I scoff. “Laws never stopped him before; trust me, they aren’t stopping him now. He’s just being a little more discreet. But I can guarantee you he still uses. I don’t ever see an end in sight for him.”

She braces her arms on the console, pinning me in place with her penetrating stare. “If you stayed, do you think you would have turned to drugs? Become an addict? Is that the real reason you left me?”

Kill. Me. Now.

My voice catches in my throat, making me gag and choke. I have to cough twice to even get a word to come out. “Oh, Lulu.” I reach across, stroking the side of her face with my calloused thumb. “My letter was true. I leftforyou. Because it was the right thing to dofor you. I was nothing but dead weight, dragging you down. Back then, I was nothing. Just some worthless kid with no idea of how to support a woman.”

Don’t say it. Don’t say it. Don’t say it. And because I always do what I shouldn’t, I say it. “No idea how to support a wife.”

She pulls away from my hand. Her body shudders. “You’ll never understand, will you?”

“Understand what?”

“You weren’t worthless to me.”

Chapter 18

ELLA

“I just don’t understand how you can be okay with what we just saw?”

His jaw clenches, and his grip tightens on the steering wheel. “Did I say I was okay with it?”

I rub my hands together, trying to warm them against the frigid weather. Not asking permission, I reach over and crank the truck heater to full strength. “No. You’re not saying anything, and it’s driving me absolutely crazy. That was a horror show back there. That woman is completely cracked out. And that house? The thought that those children actually sleep there? My god, Ry, Protective Services should be there right now. Right this minute.”

He pulls the truck off the road and slams it into park. “Damn it, woman, you should know me well enough by now to know that I can’t talk about it without getting angrier. And the angrier I get, the more I wanna turn this truck around, grab that lady by the throat, rub her face in that pile of dog shit, burn her house to the ground, and steal those kids. Run away with them to a tropical island where the only thing they’ll ever have to worry about is building sandcastles and jumping waves.”

I sit back in my seat, watching him. His broad chest heaves with every staggered breath. The muscles in his shoulders bunch with pounds of tension. A strand of his hair is cowlicked from where he took off his ballcap. I want to reach over and straighten it. I sit on my fingers instead. “You never struck me as the tropical island type.”

He licks his lips, smirking. Slowly, his breathing returns to normal. “Oh yeah, and what do I strike you as Lulu?”

“The mountain type. With woods and creeks. Like the homestead.”

His eyes flare with a familiar desire, causing me to rub my thighs together, and I quickly switch topics. “Why didn’t you arrest her? What we saw was more than enough physical evidence to show negligence and endangerment, at the very least.”

“Because the kids came home. Because CPS is more equipped to handle a domestic situation like this. When domestic situations are involved, there’s a protocol to follow. It’s for the safety of everyone involved. What if I tried to arrest her today? She could’ve hurt one of the children. I wasn’t equipped today.”

“So, what will we do?”

“Well,I,” he points to himself, emphasizing the word I, “will contact all of the proper people. CPS will probably gather the kids while they’re at school. That would be the easiest and safest transition. And you can bet your fine ass that I will request to be on the arresting detail for taking Holly into custody.”

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