Page 47 of Finding Our Reality

She reluctantly looks back at the picture. Even blurred, the scene is graphic. I hate showing it to people. I hate putting Lulu through that.

“No, I have no idea who that is. I can’t believe that happened to Carrie. I had hope for her, hope that she would avoid what so many of us went through.”

Lulu’s eyes dart to mine. Her face grows long and serious, her voice full of concern and question. “So many of you? What are you saying, Christina? Were you sexually assaulted?”

Donnie reaches over, firmly holding his wife’s hand. The sad smile on Christina’s face tells me everything I need to know. I’m sure Lulu’s seen that same face before. “I was an addict for overfive years. You can’t put yourself in those circumstances and not have something like that happen to you.”

Anger swirls in my stomach, fucking pissing me off. “Trey and who? Trash?” I swear on all that’s holy, if my brother raped this woman—any woman—he won’t be able to walk by nightfall.

“No, not Trash. He always talked crap about women, their bodies. But he was more concerned with getting high than chasing women. He was always ready for a roll in the sack, don’t get me wrong, but he waited for the women to come to him. Willingly.” She tries to make light of the situation. “You know your brother never liked to work all that hard.”

“Who then?”

She cocks her head to the side, speaking to me slowly and softly, like a child. “Crutch, it’s nothing to chase after. Trey is already gone. And the others? I don’t even know who they are. I remember the faces of some, but don’t know their names. I know nothing about them. Others are just shadows, blurs. Leaving nothing in their wake but a sore feeling between my legs.”

I look over at Donnie. He’s handling this better than me. I guess Christina wasn’t lying when she said he knew everything about her past. I sigh, sitting back in my chair. “That doesn’t mean they should get away with it.”

“No, it doesn’t. But what’s more important to me now is making sure that no one else goes through what I went through. Addiction can be prevented. If you never start, you never have to worry about stopping.”

I try to calm myself, absorbing her words. When I don’t say anything, Lulu takes over, bringing the interview back on course.

“So, going back to the picture, you weren’t present when this picture was taken?”

“No.”

“Did Trey know how to operate your camera?”

“Well, he saw me use it plenty of times, but I never saw him even pick it up. It simply didn’t interest him.”

I nod at Lulu, wordlessly thanking her for taking over, before I ask the next question. “In your opinion, did Trey take this picture?”

“No.”

“Do you have any idea who might have been there that night besides the supplier and Trey?”

“The only person who was there when we left was Carrie. She was passed out.” Tears fall from her eyes. “Ella, I’m so sorry I left her behind.”

Donnie reaches over to a side table, grabbing a box of tissues. I give Christina a few moments to compose herself. “Carrie was in possession of these pictures. Why did you develop them and give them to her? I’m not understanding how you never saw the assault picture before. Did you just forget about seeing it?”

“Not just that picture. I’ve never seen any of these pictures before.”

“What?”

“I didn’t develop these pictures. When I went back the next day to get my camera, the memory card was gone. I was furious because I had just put a new one in.” She takes a deep breath. “I had a huge bruise on my face from where Trey hit me. I guess he felt bad about it because he bought me a new card. I’m guessing whoever took the memory card developed the pictures.”

“And was Carrie there? The next day?”

“No, she was already gone.”

Who the hell took the memory card and developed these pictures?

We all sit in silence for a minute, absorbing that information.

Lulu has stopped taking notes. She’s just sitting back, studying Christina, and rubbing the scar on her neck. “What happened? How did you go from there to here?”

“Well, after the raid, when Trey was arrested, I was sent to court-ordered rehab. Long term. Six months. Fortunately, it stuck with me that time. Afterward, I got a waitressing job, and that’s where I met Donnie.”

He chuckles. “I asked her out and she said no. I went there for lunch every single day for two months straight. Finally, she caved.”

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