Page 3 of Always on My Mind

Aisling, I’m sorry. Arthur thought, with the growing rumblings of revolution, it would be better for us to return to England as a family. I have left some money for you in my shoe, the third pair on the left in my closet. I hope you will make a life for yourself. I know this must be difficult, but you must understand. There’s no place for us. Not really. Maybe, if we lived in a slightly more tolerant world, we could do as we wished. But it isn’t to be. I shall always remember you and our time together. –Kitty

Aisling crumpled the paper into her fist, trembling with the raw hurt of it. Money? That’s all Kitty could offer for breaking her heart? For abandoning her a continent away with no warning? With war on the horizon to boot?

She sank to the floor and wept.

Tessa stirred out of the scene, hot moisture building up behind her eyelids. But still, she did not open them. She brought herself back to Lila’s couch and resumed her deep breathing.

“Very good, Tessa,” Lila said. She sounded closer now. “We can also stop here, or—”

“There’s more,” Tessa cut across her. “I can feel it.”

“We’ll carry on, then.”

Tessa hardly needed prompting. She slipped back into her mind, and this time, was walking through a hospital ward. Young men in dirt soaked uniforms were carried in on stretchers, their wide, flat helmets cast aside. Their cries for help, for something to ease the pain, tugged at her heart, but she was on a mission. She assured them they were doing all they could. Down the row of cots, she spotted the fellow nurse she was seeking out. Fresh blood stained the white apron over her gray dress, the crimson a much deeper shade than the redcrosses on their uniforms. She was tying up a bandage as the soldier she worked on slept. When she looked up, her bright blue eyes widened.

“Rosie!”

“Dinah.”

She came around the bed and wiped her hands on her apron. “I. . .I assume you heard the news.”

Rosie’s expression must have betrayed the fury inside her. She folded her arms over her chest. “Imagine my surprise hearing it fromhim.”

Dinah cut her gaze to the floor, and Rosie appreciated she at least had the decency to be ashamed. She glanced nervously around before taking Rosie’s hand and leading her to the nearest supply closet. After ensuring they weren’t followed, she shut the door.

“I’m sorry,” she said with a sigh, removing her nurse’s cap, revealing her dark brown hair, plaited and pinned up around her head.

“How could you?” Rosie snapped. “You don’t love him.”

“Few marriages are based on love,” Dinah said. “And there is no marriage that can exist between us.”

Rosie took her hand. “Things are changing, Dinah. Women are more independent than ever. When the war is over, we could even get the vote. It’s changing.”

Dinah shook her head, pulling her hand away. “They won’t change that much. And Roger is a good man. I’ll want for nothing.”

“Except what matters.”

Dinah blinked away the mist in her eyes. “I’m sorry, Rosie. I wish I was braver. But I’m scared. Of what people might think, of what might become of us. All of it.”

“So, that’s it, then?” Rosie shot back. “You’ll settle for the safest life?”

“And you would be wise to do the same,” Dinah replied. “I’m sorry, Rosie. But it’s the best for both of us.”

“You’re a coward.”

Dinah sighed and reached for Rosie’s hand again, but she jerked it away. “When the Great War is over, go home to Ireland, Rosie. And forget me.”

Rosie speared her with a scowl. “I can never forget.”

“I. . . ” Dinah trailed off, biting her lip as her eyes welled up. She dug into her pocket and retrieved the Emily Dickinson book Rosie had gifted her. “Here. You must want this back.”

“No, I think you should keep it. That way you can never forget either.”

Heart in pieces, she turned and stormed out of the supply closet, leaving Dinah stricken where she stood.

Finally, Tessa opened her eyes. Fixing her gaze on the ceiling, she reminded herself that she was in London, in a posh row house, in the year 2024. She blinked a few times and shook her head, muttering a few select swear words.

“I was supposed to ease you back from all that, but I suppose this is fine,” Lila said. “How are you feeling?”

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