Page 34 of Always on My Mind

“Could you turn around so I can get dressed?”

“Oh, aye. Of course. Sorry. I can leave if you—”

“No, that’s okay. I’d like to talk. If that’s alright?”

“Sure. But get dressed first.”

Tessa turned her back to Jamie, who crossed the room to her locker and unwrapped herself from the towel. She was half-tempted to tell Tessa to turn back around. But having sex with Tessa now wouldn’t help her cause. She needed to show that she was doing the work.

She stepped into her underwear and joggers before putting on a sports bra. Deciding to push her luck, she faced Tessa.

“You can turn back around now,” she said.

Tessa faced her. “Fuck’s sake. Can’t you put on a shirt?”

“Sorry, I’m still hot from the shower. Will it be a problem?”

“No,” Tessa snapped. “I’m not an animal.”

Jamie bit her lip to stop herself from smiling. She took a seat on the bench and patted the spot beside her. “Well?”

Rolling her eyes, Tessa took a seat. “What is it you want to say?”

“I know you think nothing has changed between us, but that’s not true,” Jamie said. “We both know our feelings haven’t gone anywhere.”

“I know. The only thing that hasn’t changed is your situation.”

“It has, actually. A bit.”

Tessa hoisted an eyebrow. “How?”

“I’m seeing a therapist,” Jamie told her. It relieved her that someone other than her father knew. And she knew there was no one more trustworthy than Tessa. “And it’s going well. She hasn’t told my father a thing.”

“She shouldn’t, that would be fucking illegal,” Tessa grumbled.

“I know, but you know how he gets. The point is, I think. . . I think I can get to a place where I’m comfortable setting boundaries with him.”

“What does that mean for us?”

Jamie glanced away. “I don’t know yet. But it’s progress. If I can set boundaries with him, then there are things I can keep from him, too. I don’t know how it’ll work, but—”

Tessa got to her feet with a groan. “It doesn’t mean shit, Jamie! I don’t want to be something you keep from anyone!”

“I can’t change overnight, Tess,” Jamie said, pleading in her voice. “If you’d only be patient, I—”

“I was patient! For a whole year, I waited for you to be ready!” She took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling before facing Jamie again. “Jamie, it’s great that you’re working on yourself. I want you to get to a place where you can live authentically. But living in the shadows was incredibly painful. I can’t do it again.”

Jamie blinked back the mist in her eyes. “What can I do?”

“There’s nothing you have to do,” Tessa said. “Coming out is something you do on your own time. I can’t dictate it to you.”

Jamie got to her feet as well and drew close to Tessa. She had come to prove to herself and to Tessa that this could work. All she needed was the knowledge that Tessa would be open to being there when it did.

“All I need is some time,” Jamie said. “I know I can get there.”

Tessa met her eyes, her gaze softening. “Jamie. . . ”

“Can you give me that, Tessa?” Jamie pressed, taking Tessa’s hand.

---