Page 35 of Always on My Mind

Tessa’s fingers tightened around Jamie’s. “I don’t know.”

“I’ll make it worth your while.” Jamie traced Tessa’s jawline with the first two fingers of her free hand and Tessa’s eyes fell closed.

“How?”

Jamie closed the distance between them and captured Tessa’s lips in a heated kiss. Time slowed as their mouths moved in practiced harmony. Everything Jamie had ever felt for Tessa rushed to the front of her heart, and she clung to it. Her arms wrapped around Tessa’s slim waist to pull her close until their chests touched.

Tessa’s hands roamed Jamie’s back. Jamie moaned softly into Tessa’s mouth. She had missed her scrappy, Northern Irish ex-girlfriend like the flowers missed the rain. The drought was finally over.

For some absurd reason, that dream on the ship also flitted through Jamie’s mind as she kissed Tessa. She forced it back. She needed to be present, to commit every touch to memory, because she had no idea when she might be able to kiss Tessa again. It was everything, all-consuming and endless.

Until it wasn’t.

Tessa pulled away, her lips swollen and pink from the kiss. Her chest heaved as her half-lidded gaze landed on Jamie’s.

“We. . . ” She took a few breaths. “We can’t do this right now.”

Jamie linked her index finger with Tessa’s. “Can you give me some time?”

Tessa huffed out a laugh. “I’ve waited centuries. What’s a few months?”

Jamie didn’t have time to question the “centuries” comment. Tessa was out the door before either of them could say another word.

Jamie was still thinking about kissing Tessa when she went to her therapy appointment the following day. Lila hummed to herself as she took her usual seat and opened up her notebook on her lap. Crossing one leg over the other, she met Jamie’s gaze.

“So, Jamie. How’ve you been?”

Horny and pathetic was the first answer that came to mind, but Jamie couldn’t say that.

“I. . . ” Jamie swallowed. She knew what she wanted to say, but the words were stuck in her throat. If she could start being completely honest with her therapist, then some close friends, then maybe it would be easier to be honest with her father. “Can I tell you something?”

Lila smiled in that gentle, patient way of hers. “Of course. It’s why we’re here.”

“And you promise you won’t tell my father?”

“Your father doesn’t know a thing you share with me. I had to block his number, but as long as he makes payments, I don’t care if he’s angry.”

Jamie longed for that level of confidence. She inhaled until her lungs were full before exhaling slowly. It occurred to her that she’d never said the words aloud. She hadn’t had to come out to Tessa or Billie or Tessa’s family. Lila would be her first go at it. And it had Jamie’s chest so tight she wondered if it was possible to psychosomatically suffocate.

“I’malesbian,” she blurted out, all in one breath.

Lila blinked. “Sorry?”

Jamie forced her brain to slow down and let the words come out at a rate someone outside of it would understand. “I’m. . . a lesbian.”

“Ah. Alright.”

“And yesterday, I kissed a girl.”

“That does usually come with the territory.”

“Aren’t you surprised?”

“That a lesbian kissed a girl?”

“No, I mean—” Jamie stopped short and shook her head. This wasn’t the reaction she had anticipated. “I mean, aren’t you surprised that I’m gay?”

“Not entirely,” Lila said with a shrug. “I’m more surprised that you’ve told me after only a few sessions. I’m honored to have earned your trust in so little time.”

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