Page 18 of Always on My Mind

Billie cleared her throat again and dabbed at her eyes, which were still watery. “So, your new flatmate also plays for the club?”

Tessa nodded.

“So, it’s likely you’ll be seeing more of Jamie?”

Tessa nodded again.

“That is fucked.”

“You’re telling me,” Tessa agreed. She got to her feet, unable to remain seated now that thoughts of Jamie were coursing through her. “I can’t even tell Niamh about it because I can’t betray Jamie’s trust. You’re still the only person that knows. Though, I suppose maybe Ethan does too now.”

“No, he doesn’t.”

Tessa blinked only to find her eyes stinging. “He doesn’t?”

“No, nor will he,” Billie went on. “He’s asked about your relationships before, but I’ve only told him the basics. Never Jamie’s name, or even what she does.”

“That, uh. . . ” Tessa trailed off, swallowing the lump in her throat. “Thanks.”

“I’d never betray your trust, Tess. Not even to my husband.”

Tessa only nodded. She hadn’t intended the conversation to take this emotional turn. That is, she fully anticipated emotion, but not because of Billie saying something that touching. And exactly what she needed to hear the longer the distance between them grew. She always knew the friendship would take a hit once Billie got married, but it was good to know some things never changed.

“Now,” Billie said, sitting up in her chair. “What was it like? Seeing Jamie again?”

Tessa blinked rapidly a few times to ensure the mist was fully out of her eyes before she answered. “It was. . . weird. She wanted to. . . talk.”

“And did you?”

“Aye, but it didn’t help.”

“Was it supposed to help something?”

“Ach, I dunno. She said she missed me. But nothing’s changed so what that fuck am I supposed to do with that, y’know?”

“She’s still not ready to come out, you mean.”

“Aye.”

“Because of her father?”

“I suppose.”

Billie leaned back again, tapping her chin with one finger. “But that’s all she said? That she missed you?”

“Oh aye, and she made quite the fucking production of it, to be sure. All this romantic gobshite about the moments she’s missed me, but it was all meaningless in the end because we’re in the same place we were three years ago.”

“It’s such an unfair thing to say to you. Especially after everything she put you through.”

“That’s what I’m saying!”

Tessa turned around and scanned Billie’s bookshelf. In front of some thick leather volumes, there was another framed photo. This one was smaller, and in black and white. It wasn’t of Billie and Ethan, not technically, but their past lives, Maggie and Henry. Henry in his dress uniform and Maggie in a wedding gown made of the silk of his reserve parachute. The picture that unlocked Billie’s full memories of her life in the forties, and the decades after, as Maggie Owens.

Tessa realized she hadn’t told Billie about her visit to Lila. In fairness, Billie had still been traveling with Ethan to the United States on a pre-season tour with Chelsea, so the time difference had interfered with regular phone calls. But it wasn’t something Tessa wanted to discuss over the phone. Even if Billie was the one person she knew would completely understand.

“There’s one thing, though,” she said.

She heard Billie’s chair shift. “What is it?”

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